I swear I try to not think about him and I do go out with other guys to change ideas. It kind of works sometimes. I only enjoy bitching about the pathetic ones but some of them are actually pretty nice. They are mature, know what they want and take initiatives, go to university, have a job (not those jobs you can get with a DES or DEC, you know what I mean) and are not bad-looking either...
I’d ask my cousin what he thinks about A, B, C, D and E and he’d tell me that they are all 10 times better than P. I think he’s right too. The thing is even if they are nice…they are boringly too nice. Some take everything I say so seriously that I have to tell them it’s a joke every single time. Some are so sweet that I wonder from which drama they stole their lines. Some are kind but we don’t have much to talk about. Some others compliment me the same way over and over again and it just gets boring. Some are older and know what they want but hey, I’m only 21 and I just wanna have fun. But I appreciate the fact that they at least try.
In contrast, P just doesn't care and is probably hitting on some "hot" chicks right now. He doesn't even say hi anymore when he sees me. The only nice thing he ever said in his life was probably that I'm not fat...and that I have nice legs...but that’s a bit of a perverted compliment. I used to tell him that he was the hottest Asian in Montreal. In reality, he’s nothing close. He doesn’t have the most handsome face, he doesn’t have the most built body, he’s not the tallest, not the smartest and way too far from being the kindest…but I just can’t stop thinking about his cocky face. A lots of time, I’d start giggling to myself out of nowhere because of some stupid stuff he did or said. Then, J thinks I'm retarded, D thinks it’s cute and Sung eun thinks I'm a psycho. I tell Jason the truth just to piss him off. I don’t know how I do that…it's not like I talk to him or anything, y’know. I actually don't even know if he's still alive.
I absolutely don’t know what the hell I want.
That’s just TOTALLY annoying.