Health

Taking the time for yourself is so important yet it's probably the last thing on the priority list for most people...until it's gone, and I'm no exception to this.

One thing I've rarely talked about is I have ovarian tumor, something that made living life not easy for the past 5-6 years. I did many tests, doctors could not explain why. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but chronic pain, even if it's mild it makes you go crazy and it makes you weak mentally, because it's constantly there to remind you of its presence. In my case, the pain level varied. On days it really hurts, I can't stand straight or walk, I don't eat, I just stay in bed.

Other times, when the pain is mild, I try to stay strong and not let it affect my life, I'd go hiking to get my mind to focus on something else, but that only made it worst the next day.  I remember how helpless and depressed I felt for years. I wondered, why me? Why am I wasting my days away in bed? There is nothing I could do. You can only go as far as your body carries you, and I could not control it.

I'm better now and I haven't experienced pain in the past year, and coincidentally, not since Dyno was born. Which is why I need to be more careful now; I avoid processed foods, medications, and unnatural products. I think we all know but don't care, but something as innocent as a tampon can cause you to loose a leg or die. The risks are low, but it could happen to anybody. Even if the side effects of medications and such are minor, you might just be the unlucky one.

Little things such as taking the time to deep stretch, meditate and work out really helped me a lot. Having a dog is beneficial to mental health as well. I also moved to a place with bright natural light all day long and I live with over 50 of my plant children that supply me with clean fresh air. I never realized how much it changed my mood in general until now. I also try not to read e-mails past office hours anymore. Clients might have urgent issues to deal with, but too much is urgent nowadays and urgent is not actually that urgent. Nothing is more urgent than your mental health, and that perspective really reduced my stress level.

When you're mentally well, your body follows, your blood pressure decrease, you can mitigate chronic pain, sleep better, fight addictions. Meditation is still too high level for me, but I've been doing a little bit of it here and there, and even a little bit gives me so much clarity. I want to make it a point to keep on doing it.

I'm able to do all the activities that I love such as rock climbing, yoga and hiking because I have a healthy body and I can't be thankful enough.

Don't fall off the cliff

I just realized how I never wrote about that road trip in the southwest. Although the landscape was really incredible, I was too consumed by his negative energy to appreciate. I thought, should I just leave him behind? I wonder how he'll do without speaking a word of English, without gps, without data and without money or a functioning credit card. It's nothing illegal if I do this, right? After all, I rented the car and he is the one depending me. Too bad I'm not mean enough to actually do it.

I was looking at the pictures yesterday and saw this photo and thought I'd write about this episode, and maybe others later if I feel inspired enough to do so. Maybe I will laugh about this when I'm old. The night before taking this photo was rainy and windy, we were driving north on the coast of California. I thought of my mom who told me stories of people falling off cliffs with their cars in California which made me a bit scared. I was trying to be in a good mood, and definitely did not want to argue. I don't trust his driving skills nor do I trust the hybrid car. We have had some minor car accidents while having arguments, nothing serious luckily. One time in Death Valley, he was so mad that he drove over a concrete parking bumper at night and part of the floor pan came off.

He always says that I decide everything, so I asked him to decide what he wanted to do. He said he doesn't know...why would you complain if you don't even know what you want to do. Then he says it's not about him deciding, he wants to decide together...In my head, if you decide together, someone still has to make suggestions first which he never does. I was really patient and even gave him options...just like I would to a kid, he just had to pick. That's what he thinks "deciding together" is anyways. He picked San Francisco. I have already been but fine, let's not debate.

There were landslides and such in some parts of the road, but everything went well and we were determined to make it to San Francisco before the end of the trip...until we drove over a big rock and got a flat in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere while going uphill, without reception, without light, without service, without spare. We were able to stop the car right at the road bend, and there was a tiny space between the hill and the road, but it was still dangerous as cars coming up could probably not see us.

I had an offline map on my phone and could see there was a hotel/gas station 1 minute of driving away...which we have not seen any in a while. How lucky but unlucky at the same time. It could've been a lot worst. One minute of driving is still a long time if you walk at night on a twisty road with mountains on one side and the ocean on the other, without really being able to see neither because it was so dark. There was not much walking space, so we had to walk on the same road as the cars and as soon as we saw lights from either side, we had to move to the other lane. One of the cars stopped us and offered us a ride thankfully.

We borrowed a phone at the hotel and the nearest towing company was 3 hours away...ugh can you believe? and it's not 24H, so we ended up staying at that hotel right by the coast at Ragged Point.

We never made it to San Francisco as the tow truck came to get us the next day and drove us back down to the nearest town south. It was a really nice day, very sunny and warm. We got to see sea lions on the shore which I never noticed before. As they say, the destination doesn't matter...and the journey was definitely something to remember. The funny thing, it's the most unlucky day of our trip, but I think it was probably my happiest day too, especially when I was in the tow truck with that beat up car behind. I can't even explain. I'm almost feeling like...God is with you, you don't want to go to San Francisco? You ain't going.

We were lent a 4x4 too...just when we need it least.

Everyday I spend my time Drinking wine, feeling fine...

Today was a really nice day to do a little road trip and visit a vineyard. I haven't done one of these in a while and forgot how relaxing it was. We drove through a tree tunnel to arrive at the vineyard which was picturesque and the weather was perfect. There were people dancing around, playing music and crushing grapes. Everyone was very friendly and smiley, which really added to the atmosphere.  It felt like we entered an enchanted village and the wines made of strawberries, cherries and angel's kiss in spring. We tasted some wines and local products that all came from nearby while seated amidst the vines. Dyno received a lot of attention too.

Groceries with Dyno

I'm not going to lie, I sneaked my dog into grocery stores on several occasions. I don't do it as often anymore now that he got heavier. This time, we visited Ferme Regis which is one of the first grocery stores in Quebec accepting smaller dogs inside if they are placed in a wooden basket. There are lots of local products inside which I love.

There was also a corn maze where you can get lost in, empty silos in which you can hear your echo, old cars to take pictures with and a little farm with animals to entertain your dog. I personally think dogs should be accepted in more places but I agree that most dog owners are terrible, which ruins it for the rest of us, but I'm not going to let this stop me and Dyno :)