Cleaning my room

I'm the kind of person that keeps almost everything, even the things I don't use and don't need. I have clothes that I haven't worn in 2 or 3 years, mostly because they are not office-appropriate, and maybe I could give them away...but what if I want to wear them someday?

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My photocopied books and notes are pretty much the only things I threw away today. I have no idea what I was keeping them for. To remind myself that I used to be a student? In case I need to look up something?...but that never happened obviously.

The album sticker I had in elementary school. Everyone, well not everyone, just the cool girls had one, and we exchanged stickers! It's so cute!

I kept all the books that were mandatory to read in high school and college, the dictionaries,  Bescherelles, painless grammar, haha. I have the The girl who kicked the Hornets' Nest, which is a book that a fellow traveller on the silk road gave me. I read the first page, ha. I just like to keep it because it reminds me of him. It was an old American guy named Frank, I remember him as someone blunt, sarcastic, and funny.

Some drawings from elementary school. I know it's really ugly, but I drew these when I had clumsy fingers of a 7-year-old. The first one on the left was for a anti-drug contest, haha. As you can see, there is an ugly man drinking on the street, while some prettier people are drinking orange juice in the restaurant, and a sporty girl throwing away unhealthy stuff in the trash can. It looks so random.

Some poems I wrote in elementary school. It makes me laugh to read these, because they are really stupid.The first one was about drawing and the second one is about how much I love my swing. I don't know how I wrote this, because I had no swing when I was little.

Cards and letters friends wrote to me.

I have no idea what was going through my mind, haha. I guess I was just wondering what I would look like with wrinkles.

My agendas from high school. I just keep them because there are some funny stuff written inside.

A chinese exam where I got 17%. Hahaha.

Am I exaggerating?!

Here's some background information. Jonathan invited me to have dinner at his dad's place on Saturday, which is great because I never met his dad's side of the family. I suggested we do something in the morning because it was going to be a warm day. He said I could go to his place on Friday and we'll go somewhere on Saturday morning before going to his dad's place.

Then on Thursday, he tells me that he'll have dinner with his friends instead on Friday...

I always make that mistake to overreact, and that makes me sound like I'm wrong. It's just not okay to ditch me, or anyone else, when you have something planned with them. The fact that he doesn't understand this concept makes me even more mad. He thinks it's perfectly fine to cancel on me because we'll see each other on Saturday nonetheless.

It has nothing to do with the fact that we're seeing each other on Saturday or not. What if I told him that I'm not going to his dad's place anymore, and instead I'll go shopping with a friend....because we're seeing each other on Friday anyways, right? And what if I had something planned for Friday? Now, I'll end up doing nothing.

Wait...have I talked about this before? Because I feel like I always talk about the same thing...but that guy just doesn't understand!

So, I told him that he's taking me for a "bouche-trou". He says I'm crazy.
Well, sometimes, you could think one thing and do another, which is his case. Finally, he told me to not come on Saturday, so I was like, fine, fuck you.

Then later, he texted me saying that he didn't mean that and blah, blah, blah.

Saturday, I called him at 11, at noon, at 1 and he didn't answer. I was getting pretty mad. What if it was urgent? Well, that would mean that he's not that person I should call when I have something important. I honestly thought he wanted to break up with me. Again, he tells me I'm crazy and that he didn't plan on breaking up with me.

Huh, well...

Last time, we went out to have lunch, had a normal conversation, and that evening, he broke up with me.

Last last time, the next morning after him telling me that he wanted to be a courier, he broke up with me.

How am I supposed to know?
I don't fucking know.

By the way, I actually ended up not going to his dad's place.

Closure

Closure is not simply an answer we get.

Closure is, sometimes, asking ourselves the same questions over and over again hopeful to get a different answer someday.

Good morning 2013

Apparently, I'm ugly when I wake up in the morning.

NYE 2013

Live traditional folk music
Fireworks and snow
Boots and jogging pants
Grandmothers wandering on the dance floor
Kids dancing the the stage
Tons of fun and some grumpy ones

Oh and boyfriend is doing the countdown alone at home.