Resignation

I gave my resignation today...

I never thought I would say this, but I really will miss this firm. I will miss the receptionist who talks to herself all the time, the typist who complains all day and her conversations about weather and food downstairs but she was always willing to help, manager P that I didn't get along with at the beginning but our relationship slowly got better, partner J who gave me a chance when I had zero auditing experience, partner A and the trust he placed in me, manager V who was difficult but pushed me to think further, and the one manager who always brings me fashion magazines...and all the clients who stressed me out but made me learn so much about their businesses, I will miss them all; the good times as well as the bad ones.

I was nobody when I first started working here, and now I've grown so much and acquired all these experiences that will continue to benefit my career. People at the workplace really took care of me well, gave me chances, and wanted me to stay...

But I'm very definitely ready for the next challenge.

Adios.

My photos featured in TAP travel calendar

The Abhilasha Project has mission to provide quality education to blind and handicapped children in India. They started a travel calendar featuring pictures from all around the world. My photos "the man selling grapes" taken in Turpan, China and "the Centenarian" taken in Tashkent, Uzbekistan are featured in the month of January and April :)

Click here if you're interested in purchasing the calendar. 100% of the proceeds will be donated to the Red Cross to help people affected by the typhoon in the Philippines.

Live the questions now

"I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

-Rainer Maria Rilke

The parts of me that don't make any sense

There are parts of me that I don't understand. It is possibly somewhere on a mountain, flowing along the river, in the middle of the ocean, or in an irrelevant past, and I never live a moment fully and completely.

There has been time when I wanted to fast-forward everything just so I can see the end results. I'm an optimist. I like to see all the reasons, all the slim chances, all the minor possibilities and all the maybes...the only thing I didn't realize is, he doesn't even respect me enough to respond. I will never understand why. Why do I keep doing this to myself. Why do I hang on to these improbabilities. Is there a reason at all?

Sometimes, I tell myself those lies that if I move to another country, I will move on. If I meet someone else, they will help me move on. The next couple of months are crucial to me, because I'll be headed in an another direction. I don't know where yet, but wherever my life goes, I'll be happy. Maybe I will find a way to connect those dots again, maybe somewhere on the mountain, flowing along the river, in middle of the ocean, or perhaps in a future where things will make sense.

Why is an endless charade of questions, and so I have to let go of the charade; to give myself a chance to live.

Maybe we'll get it right next time.