Car crash

I went camping Sunday night on a mountain. This will sound cliche, but I had an unexplained uneasy feeling. I debated whether I should go or not. It was my mom's idea, but she felt sick last minute. She slightly felt better Sunday morning, so we decided to go anyway. I wasn't having a great time on the summit, and that was really unlike me. It was really cold, and we kept hearing human noises even though we were the only ones on the mountain. It was not hard to access this summit, somebody could climb to the top in under an hour at night. It made me paranoiac. I don't even know if I slept at all, I was in my REM sleep for a long time. I kept dreaming of people walking by our tent with flashlights and attacking us. 

Finally the sun rose, I was looking forward to go back home in the warmth of my bed. As I was driving back home Monday morning, all relaxed on cruise control on the highway's left lane, my car was struck diagonally from the right at full speed. The car was in my blind spot so I only saw it after it struck me and even then, I was so confused. It took a moment to realize what had happened. It was so sudden and out of nowhere.

I've had a number of car accidents in the past...but never like this one. If the other car was a truck, or if I was in a motorcycle, or even if I was in a smaller car, or if there was something else on my left side, I would've been seriously injured if not dead. I'm still in a bit of a shock, it put me in the shoes of people who have seen their lives change in the split of a second for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

All of this because the person who caused this stupidly fell asleep at the wheel.

You endure a mix of emotions and go through so many scenarios in your head. You keep thinking, if I didn't stop by the Tim Hortons to get coffee, if I woke up earlier, if I just stayed home, if I drove slightly faster or slower, etc....this wouldn't have happened. But of course, none of this matter.

I'm still a little pissed, scared and sad about all of this, but above all, I'm actually really grateful my dog and my mom are safe. Gratitude is imperfect sometimes.