Victoria Falls is located in Zimbabwe and it's one of the first cities I've set foot in in Africa. It was a time of the year when it was dry and hot. Everything was new, strange and dusty. I jumped off a bridge the day before and I canoed down a river with hippos....but I wasn't living the moment. I was preoccupied with thoughts of someone and torturing myself with insane hypothesis.
I remember every detail from the scent to the song that was playing on a loop. You're pulled by joy and hope in one moment, and despair the next, flying in circles, chasing pavements that leads nowhere. Regardless of the number of things and people stealing your attention away, for a second to months, you always come back to it sooner, or later.
One day, I was doing some shopping in a local market in Victoria Falls. I have a thing for items made of recycled material, and saw something I instantly fell in love with. I asked the shopkeeper if I can have a box, so he made one on the spot for me. I carried it everywhere, to Malawi, Tanzania, Kenya, Switzerland and hopefully someday, home. Somehow, coming back home doesn't feel the same.
We like to think our lives are linear. That everything you do accumulates into a better decision-making process that will get you the person you’ve really wanted all along. But what if it doesn't? It will always be my biggest what-if and the biggest fork in the road I've left behind. You think of settling but is this the end? It's one of those things you always long for but never put any work into achieving it, and one of those things you'll never be ready for...
All of these thoughts are like a vicious cycle that only keeps growing, you keep missing moments that you should be enjoying now, which you will probably realize in the future and wonder what if again. Today, I still don't know what I want to conclude, answers still lacking, but I thought I would finally post this, because I've come to term with this...I was eating with my friend and he said something along the line that he has the feeling I'll meet him again, to which I said...there were already plenty of opportunities for us to reconnect but I've decided to let them go.
I remember every detail from the scent to the song that was playing on a loop. You're pulled by joy and hope in one moment, and despair the next, flying in circles, chasing pavements that leads nowhere. Regardless of the number of things and people stealing your attention away, for a second to months, you always come back to it sooner, or later.
One day, I was doing some shopping in a local market in Victoria Falls. I have a thing for items made of recycled material, and saw something I instantly fell in love with. I asked the shopkeeper if I can have a box, so he made one on the spot for me. I carried it everywhere, to Malawi, Tanzania, Kenya, Switzerland and hopefully someday, home. Somehow, coming back home doesn't feel the same.
We like to think our lives are linear. That everything you do accumulates into a better decision-making process that will get you the person you’ve really wanted all along. But what if it doesn't? It will always be my biggest what-if and the biggest fork in the road I've left behind. You think of settling but is this the end? It's one of those things you always long for but never put any work into achieving it, and one of those things you'll never be ready for...
All of these thoughts are like a vicious cycle that only keeps growing, you keep missing moments that you should be enjoying now, which you will probably realize in the future and wonder what if again. Today, I still don't know what I want to conclude, answers still lacking, but I thought I would finally post this, because I've come to term with this...I was eating with my friend and he said something along the line that he has the feeling I'll meet him again, to which I said...there were already plenty of opportunities for us to reconnect but I've decided to let them go.