Wright peak

"Why are you going hiking in the cold? Are you crazy?!" my mom kept yelling.

A week later...

"Don't you want to try hiking in winter? It's so beautiful! You can have my friend's equipment and we'll do an easy one!"

"Yes! When?!"

So, we went hiking yesterday and my cousin came as well. Wright peak is supposedly intermediate and it should've taken us 5 hours. It's a short little hike with nice views. However, it took us nearly 5 hours just to go up, and my mom didn't even make it. The whole hike ended up taking us 7 hours.

The temperature was cold, but bearable. It was around -16°C at the base, and probably near -30°C at the top. It was packed near the top; it would've been easier to switch out of crampons into snowshoes, but it was so cold that we chose to continue without switching. Above treeline conditions deteriorated quickly as we approached the summit. "Can we go back? Let's just say that we got to the top? I can't walk anymore..." my mom said as soon as we got above treeline. "Can you go behind that rock and wait there then?" I told her, as me and my cousin carried on.

The top was windy, visibility was poor and we couldn't see anything. Wright peak is actually surrounded by mountains that form a corridor that traps the wind, so it is often hit hard. It is only the 16th highest mountain of the Adirondacks, but number 1 for wind factor. My eyelashes and some hair that was sticking out of my balaclava were coated with ice. In my head, I was thinking, we can't take too long because my mom will get cold fast behind that rock, and we couldn't even see her anymore....but after reaching every "fake" summit, we realized that the real summit is further up.

After a while, I saw my cousin that was ahead of me with a thumbs up. Yup, we finally reached the top. Unfortunately, there was nothing to see due to poor weather condition.

On the descent, my mom wanted to snap more photos to tell her friends how cool she is, haha. The hike was pretty hard for her. "I can't walk anymore!" she said several times, and she actually had 2 cramps. "Do you want to spend the night here then?" I asked.

I knew we would have to hike out in the dark, but it wasn't too bad. I love those slides on the descent.

Winter conditions are sometimes unforgivable, your margin of error is much smaller, you get cold when you walk too slow, you're tired and you ache all over...but a week later, you think it wasn't that bad and you do it again!

No more sex

I'm just writing this to remind myself to not have sex in 2016.

What a weird thing to write about, or what a weird goal you might think...

Long story short, I've had many one-nights when I was younger, I even lost my virginity to a one-nighter. How fucked up. I don't remember how or what got me into this, but basically I thought I was invincible and didn't see the consequences. That being said, the way I viewed sex was mostly a one-time thing with no strings attached. I never had a boyfriend and never fell in love.

Until one day, I told a bad joke that changed everything. From then on, I just felt very dysfunctional. Without going into details, I can only say that dating became hard. Sometimes, I only see what I've always known. People say that physical intimacy is the doorway to emotional intimacy, and I want to agree with this, but deep down, it's not a doorway but a barrier. I can never truly be myself.

Coming to this decision isn't anything difficult, it isn't something I had to think about for a long time...it simply feels like it makes sense. I think I'll be a lot happier that way.

2015

I am a few days late...but 2015 was pretty unbelievable. It was filled with adventures, and to me, an adventure doesn't have to be anything grand; it can be as simple as doing just one little thing different than before. I really don't know how everything happened, but I know it's meant to be.

My life is almost upside down right now; I went from having a stable job to doing nothing similar. I blamed others for choosing a safe path, but I also chose a safe path all along. It made sense to choose a path towards comfort, security, and stability.

...climbing mountains in ice cold weather doesn't make sense.
...travelling alone as a woman doesn't make sense.
...not having a stable job doesn't make sense.
...seeking some great perhaps doesn't make sense.

The truth is, we can't just sit by and say we've already made our decisions, finished our striving, lived our adventure by getting a 9-5 job or by starting a family. I guess it's something that is always in the back of the mind of a 9-5er, why am I working all the time, and what else I can do with my life...Sometimes we're stuck in currents that won't let us go...but nobody has it figured out; we're all trying to figure out our path. That's okay because the joy is in the journey and no one has the answers, not even the wise old men...

...but I think those adventures come pretty close to the real answer...

This year, I slept at a king's palace in India, spent new year's at Taj Mahal, sailed in sacred Ganges, jumped off a moving train, survived the White Mountains, slid down Noonmark, slept alone in the woods, found a new job and got fired, drove 1000km to our land's end with friends, crawled in a cave, cooked pizza over campfire, attempted to camp with my mom to end up sleeping in the car, introducing new friends to hiking, watched whales on a Kayak, explored ruins, joined mountain nomads for a cup of tea, rode camels and mules, slept under the stars in mighty Sahara, explored tunnels in Pyramids, sailed down the Holy Nile, fell in love with colorful Barcelona, went on a boat cruise in romantic Paris, climbed the dome of St. Peter's Basilica in Rome....everything was magical and confronting all at once.

It is disturbing how our potential weakens due to our society's defense of the comfortable norm. Pride is not at the forefront of my feelings...I just feel fortunate to have the strength and the health to experience all that 2015 have brought!

I don't have resolutions for the new year, but I hope I can learn to be more open-minded, to not let pride get in the way of life's most beautiful things, and be patient enough to not settle for less...

Big Slide, take 2

Today is Tuesday.

Everybody is working today, so I went alone to Big Slide for a little day hike, which took about 6 hours, nothing too crazy. Last time I went to this mountain, I brought some people who never hiked before. One girl had a cotton t-shirt and was freezing, and nobody brought microspikes except me...so, we had to give up.

My biggest worries were the cold and the possibility of having to hike back in the dark...and because it's Tuesday, it means nobody will find me if I get stuck in the woods for whatever reason. Ice cubes were forming inside my water bottle, and I kept moving because I was scared that the cold would hit me. Luckily, everything went well...and the view was so awe-inspiring! Winter landscapes and wilderness are so beautiful and magical.

It was all worth it!