It's new year soon. 2011 was a good year to me. I fell in love in 2011; it's something that I didn't think would be possible, but you're not here anymore. I must say that I'm more disappointed than sad, because I don't understand why. Why do we have to subside our emotions? It makes no sense to me...because it's the rarest thing in the world to find someone you feel something for and that it's mutual...
I remember that one time when you were sleeping next to me, holding onto my arms. I told myself, at that point, that I cannot hurt you anymore; I need to learn to believe you...but I was also afraid that you would take us for granted. I have my own insecurities too, and I'm not as strong as I appear. We all have our own issues to work on.
I originally wanted to give you these letters when I'll see you again, but who knows what will happen tomorrow? Maybe I won't be here anymore, and maybe you won't be here either. I don't want to regret.
I wish I could kiss you at midnight on New Years, there are so many things we haven't done yet. Happy New Year, Jonathan, let's be better versions of ourselves, let's make resolutions. I wish all your dreams come true.
I won't write to you anymore, you don't have to respond either. These letters are just some last words and silly hopes. I will see you at 3:45 on April 3rd. I will try to not be hungover this time. Please don't forget me. It isn't over for me.