...most people won't do this unless they are left without choices.
Last time Jonathan called me was last friday and I told him that we'll talk later. Oh and he haven't been texting me lately and the only reason he stopped is because he got no money to pay his phone...which is not so great. Why? Because he started calling me! HELP!!!
He just called from work again and we talked for a bit which felt like an eternity. You know when you're on the phone with someone but you're constantly looking for a chance to say goodbye because you know he or she will make another attempt?
| Jonathan: So what are you doing this friday? **Oh no, he's gonna ask me out again. Me: Oh my god, did I tell you that I did really bad on my midterms? I'm so depressed and I got so much to do!! Jonathan: ...? Me:...I think I'll study this friday. Jonathan: ...oh **He was probably deceived. Me: Anyways...I really gotta go back studying. Talk to you later? Jonathan: Hey, but I'll call you on friday in case you change your mind. **NOOO! Me: Euh...ok. |
I clearly know I should just tell him directly, but I don't know how. There isn't an easy way to do it and no matter what I say, it won't be a joy for him to hear it. At the same time, I'm so immature for not telling him and wasting his time. Better suffer sooner than later, right? I kind of hope he'd understand without me telling him so directly so that it'll not be that awkward in the future so we can still be friends...and I mean real and normal friends. Not less than friends nor friends with benefits...because that ain't frienship to me.
I met really great people in my life, many of which I met abroad, and the moments we get to spend together are really short. However, it's not the amount of time that matters the most; relationships are not defined by their length. Sometimes, the briefest encounters are remembered forever and it's often those short-lived moments that people are willing to fight for. Nevertheless, I can't help but find that unfortunate even if that's the beauty of it.
Jonathan is certainly one of those great people; what if one day we become strangers?...because I experienced that, and I'm sure even the best of us experienced that at some point in their life. If you really get to that point, you won't have the choice but to move on...but you'll still remember all the little things you've learned from that person and how that person played a part in making the person you've become today.
...but if you haven't gotten to that point yet, wouldn't try to avoid it?
I just want to stay friends.