Yes, I hate clubbing.
Yes, I have tons of stuff to study for.
...but I still went.
Besides living for the present, we're also living to create memories. Does that make sense? In 10 or 20 years, would you rather remember that day you were studying at home, just like any other day? Or that day you were celebrating your friend's birthday? To remember how happy she was, how drunk we were, how all the guys are dying to feel us, all the stupid things we did, all the crazy laughs? It's childish to use the term "best friends", but let's just say that Mirlaine is one of my very good friends. You really have to be a no-life to choose studying at home for your good friend's birthday.
Last night was great. I haven't gone to club in a while but just like always, we are the ones who started the party. I mean, who else dares to dance in the middle of the dance floor when it's empty and people are just sitting around and watching, right? It's us, baby.
...but something not so great happened too. I bumped into my neighbors; Joonho and David. They are brothers. I knew them since Joonho was still a virgin and David was still free of piercings. We would hang out at their place or around bois-franc and just talk about everything and nothing. I were comfortable enough to be around them with my naked-face and PJs. David is more outgoing while Joonho is the quiet one. Both are really nice and sweet.
So here's the story. At the club, everyone could see us because me and my friends were on the stage. So Joonho saw me and bought me a beer. Usually, I'd dance for a bit, just by politeness, with those people who buy me drinks, which is what I did. I don't know if it's because I sent the wrong signal or what but then he started grabbing me "where" he shouldn't. At first, he just grabbed my waist and then my butt, but I didn't say anything about that because it's sometimes inevitable in a club...he might have accidentally went too low. Then, he really went too far because he tried to finger me right there on the dance floor a few times and to get in my bra. Obviously, I took his hands and put them away nicely y'know...I didn't bitch-slap him. Maybe I should have done that though. When you're nice, people are just going to abuse and go further! Later during the night, there was that show going on so people were facing the same direction and we were all squeezed together. I was standing in front of Joonho and he just started dry humping me from behind and kissing my neck. I was like...what the hell is going on, my neck is wet. I turned around and he started kissing my lips. I didn't push him away right away though...because I was thinking how and I didn't have time to react because I was shocked...anyway I'm stupid. I always knew he found me hot, but I never thought he would do this. Joonho the little quiet and shy boy? Really?
Then I just went to the washroom because I needed to breath. He had to follow me obviously.
| Me: Hey, I think I'm going home. Joonho: Okay, me too then. Me: Alright, I'm just going to find my friends first. Joonho: Are your parents home? Me: Yeah... Joonho:...but they are sleeping right? **So what if they are sleeping, dude? Me: Yeah....so? |
I don't remember what he said after that, but I was trying to explain to him that it doesn't make a difference whether my parents are home or not because I'll sleep in my house and he'll sleep in his'.
It's not because you touched my hands that you're my boyfriend and just because we kissed doesn't mean that you can get in my pants and even if someday you get in my pants doesn't mean you're my man. Got that?
I think he understood what I said because he didn't follow me after that. So I found my friends and went to the coatcheck and I saw David there.
| Me: Hey David, your brother wants to fuck me. David: Haha, how do you know? Me: Well, he touched me here and here... David: It's normal. All guys want to fuck hot girls and you're hot y'know. I want to do you too...well, if you want it hahaha, just kidding. Me: Yeah I guess... |
David is cool though. He's always been a pretty direct person. If he's mad at someone, he'd tell them. If he likes someone, he'd tell them. If he wants to fuck someone, he'd tell them too. So I also like the fact that he just tells me but still keeps his hands off me...even if he were more drunk than Joonho. I were drunk too, but did I grab David's balls? No I didn't and David is definitely the most handsome asian I've seen in Montreal. So...don't blame it on alcohol unless you're really irresponsible.
I was thinking about that this morning. I was thinking...would more guys see me as a friend if I were uglier? I mean, those friendships without any kinds of tension? Not that I want to be friends with everyone but I feel like I just lost Joonho as a friend. I'm sad because he disgusted me and I don't think I'll ever be able to see him the same way. I lost respect for that guy. I'm sad about the fact that people will always have that in their minds, that it's all about looks...all because I'm "hot". Whether it's possible for real friendship between guys and girls have always been something I never found an answer to....until last night.
Then a friend texted me this morning and I felt like talking about it:
| Him: Had fun? Me: Hmm yeah but I saw my neighbor and he tried to hit on me...which is gay because we were close friends. What did you do? Him: Hmm awkward! I helped my friend clean his store and that took most of the evening. Since I had quite a day Friday, I relaxed yesterday. I am still 27....damn it. Me: I just realized that I don't have any male friends. What don't you like about being 27? I kinda like that lol... Him: Well that's often the case for most people, no? So are you clueless about guys then lol. No I am cool with my age I am just sayin'. Me: Well you know what? I think all guys just want to get in my pants, even my neighbor's little brother admitted it. Anyway, 27 year-old dudes are hot haha... Him: They must think they all have small waists...trying to get in a girl's pants....ok bad joke. Well that at least tells you you're attractive! Yes 27 year-olds then to be hot, especially the ones that just turned 27. |
I didn't know that was the case for most people, but you know what guys? If you want to fuck, then why don't you fuck some strangers instead. You'll have all the fun you need without hassle or problems in the future, right? I mean...if you want to fuck, try not to do it near your house...because you just ruined our friendship! I know I'm not exactly portrayed as a good little innocent church girl, but I don't just do anybody...I'M VERY PICKY and YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MEET MY STANDARDS EVEN IF YOU GROW A FEW MORE INCHES, BOY!
I still don't know what I'll do next time I bump into him around my house, but I'm not worrying. He should be the one who has to worry.
It was my friend's birthday and I had fun with her...but I still HATE clubbing. Sometimes, I kinda forget how guys (in general) are such lost puppies, but last night just reminded me of that. Their brains are seriously controlled by their dicks and their dicks are controlled by me and my ladies.
Just believe me that if I could, I would grow a cock so you guys can suck it.