Remember P? Well last time, I said a lot of mean things that included stuff like "small dick" and some other blablas. The fact that he goes on my blog does affect me in some way...like it forces me to think about him. I'm not some psycho who likes to hurt people; I just did it so that he quits reading my blog for the most part, which I think he did for a while.
However, he started going on my blog when he's at school. When he uses the Wi-Fi at school, it changes the IP address. So, he thought I wouldn't know it's him. I'm not going to explain how the visits tracker works, but it doesn't just track by IP address in case you guys wonder. So when I found out, I had that urge to diss him again. The reason I didn't is because I understand that it's hard to stop going on someone's blog when you read it for that long. For example, if I called the same person everyday for 5 months, you can bet that person will miss me if one day I just decide to stop calling. So I understand and I didn't say shit about it because maybe he's just curious. If he has to go to school to read my blog it's because he doesn't want me to know; it means he's not doing that on purpose to piss me off.
I still stupidly giggle when I think about him and I don't mind if it goes on like that for a while because it's just human nature...as long as he stays away.
Then about 3 weeks ago, he started going on my blog when he's at home. Since he doesn't know how that visits tracker works, my guess would be that he wants me to know he reads my blog now. He has to be doing that for a reason and the only reason I can think of is the fact that I met one of his friends. I'm pretty sure they are not close friends. He's probably doing that to remind me of his existence.
What would that mean?
For someone who always wants the last word,
someone who is so competitive,
someone who likes to sit there and try to win some argument...because being able to prove that they are smarter than a little girl like me just feels so good?
He's probably smiling because bad things happen to me.
I mean, how happy can you be if you succeeded in provoking me?!
...Unless you want to prove that immaturity comes with age.
I had to do something about it. Even if I don't hate him, I probably won't be able to face him because of that blowjob thing. I just don't know how. My friend, Van, always encourages me to go talk to him...and I considered that too. People say that there are problems that might seem so complicated but by the time you're willing to take the first step, you would've already half solved the problem. So I wanted to be nice and talk to him...but it didn't turn out well haha.
I texted him this...
Text messages always make everything worst.
| Me: So I see you're still obsessed! P: What? Me: What you're not? P: Who is this? Ej? **...pretending to be innocent again. Me: Obviously. P: Um, not really obsessed sorry. Have you been writing about me again or what. It's been a while I haven't gone on your blog. ** I really don't get why he's lying when he knows I probably know the truth...or maybe "a while" means 2 days to him. And yeah, that's where things went wrong. Me: No and you're just childish, not because you're at school that I don't know it's you. P: Um yea keep dreaming. Whatever makes you happy eh. You need to move on. Didn't you delete my number? Me: Anyways stop bothering me and don't be innocent enough to believe anything I said. P: Haha jesus you seriously have an issue. You are the one who texted me out of the blue, not me. Anyways. Bye~ Me: That's only because you keep stalking me and I wasn't even going to say anything but you piss me off! P: Ok bye~ |
Gosh...
It's just ridiculous...I just tried to start the conversation and he didn't take it well for whatever reason. He instantly put himself in a defensive mode and shot me his arguments when he could've simply said "no" instead.
Van said this to me "You're pissed because he reads your blog. What if one day he actually stops reading it? Would you still be pissed?" haha, I probably will but I know it would be better than having false hope. It feels peaceful when there's not even 1% of chance you can help the situation. I don't want to be obsessed for that 1%. Just be realistic. It sucks but I don't feel bad about it. Maybe I were rude and ruined it with my text messages but he annoyed me with his lame arguments first. At least now he'll stay out of my sight in every possible way...even my blog and visits stats. That's a good thing.
P is simple like a little kid sometimes even if he doesn't appear that way. It's not hard to figure him out and that makes it difficult to get mad at him even if he said mean things. Anyways.
Like he said, I need to move on. Ok ok, I said that at least 10 times haha. I think I already moved on but I got to admit that I still think about him. How is it possible to not think when I don't have alzheimer, eh? But I don't think about him the same way as before...I'm more at ease about it now, or just thought through it I guess, or maybe I just don't care that much either. I'm just taking that shit easy.
No contact is the key.
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