Whenever she tells me she's depressed and that she can't eat...I’d think in my head...gosh aren't you dumb? Are you dying? Is it the end of the world? There are people dying right now...perhaps right next door and you are here, healthy but not eating because of some foolish shit?
But on the other hand, I envy her. I envy her because at least she still knows how it is to be upset. It was fun to go crazy because I-don't-know-who didn't call when he was supposed to call. It was fun to be angry at some stupid shit that XYZ did. It was fun to not be able to sleep because of one word that some motherfucker said. It was fun to be jealous of some ugly whore he was sitting next to in class. It was fun to bitch about little random things between girls. It was fun to cry because some asshole cheated. It was fun to be sick to the point of not being able to eat for days. It was fun when it still hurt. It was fun when tears and blood did not dry up yet.
I laugh when I think about how innocent and shallow I were. Everyday felt like the end of the world because of some childish things, and that was the daily life of any normal little girl. That day, it was the end of the world..but that was when I felt most alive. Then everything just suddenly became nothing. It's actually worth celebrating if you still know what tears taste like. You can try to use glue, tape and staples but things will never look the same ever again.