This will be a boring post because I need to ramble about the random things that don't make sense in my mind.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting a dog to keep me company. I always wanted a pitbull because they are such a misunderstood breed. Is that a weird reason? The media portray them as vicious dogs but in fact, they are only poor little things that don’t even have control over their destiny. Not many people know that but, I used to help abandoned animals find a new home at the SPCA. I've never seen a bad dog in my life; I've only seen cold-hearted people who bred them to be tough fighting dogs and now, it's the dogs that are blamed for it. I saw many dogs with major behavioural problems but those were also the ones I wanted to adopt the most. Those dogs were abused in a way that no one can imagine and will be put down if no one wanted them. Many pitbulls are put down because people loose hope in them; not many believe that they have the power to trust humans again...but I believe they do. So if I were to get a pitbull, I would certainly adopt one.
…but I was just thinking. I know that's a lot of responsibility and I neither have a stable income nor a stable schedule to take care of a dog yet. Talking about money, I'm saving so I can maybe go somewhere far away this year. I actually should be looking for a job in a CA firm but I haven’t started yet. The problem is that I probably won't be able to leave for more than two weeks if I actually find a serious job. I’m not quite sure which is more important anymore. I'm so young and I only have one life to live, y’know. But I’ll at least start writing my resume tomorrow and see how things go.
The other day, I went to school to ask my professors for letters of recommendation so I can apply to graduate school. I was so nervous about it because it’s not as if they will actually remember me, right? Anyways, I was so well-dressed because I wanted to give a good impression, but then I noticed something wrong;
Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting a dog to keep me company. I always wanted a pitbull because they are such a misunderstood breed. Is that a weird reason? The media portray them as vicious dogs but in fact, they are only poor little things that don’t even have control over their destiny. Not many people know that but, I used to help abandoned animals find a new home at the SPCA. I've never seen a bad dog in my life; I've only seen cold-hearted people who bred them to be tough fighting dogs and now, it's the dogs that are blamed for it. I saw many dogs with major behavioural problems but those were also the ones I wanted to adopt the most. Those dogs were abused in a way that no one can imagine and will be put down if no one wanted them. Many pitbulls are put down because people loose hope in them; not many believe that they have the power to trust humans again...but I believe they do. So if I were to get a pitbull, I would certainly adopt one.
…but I was just thinking. I know that's a lot of responsibility and I neither have a stable income nor a stable schedule to take care of a dog yet. Talking about money, I'm saving so I can maybe go somewhere far away this year. I actually should be looking for a job in a CA firm but I haven’t started yet. The problem is that I probably won't be able to leave for more than two weeks if I actually find a serious job. I’m not quite sure which is more important anymore. I'm so young and I only have one life to live, y’know. But I’ll at least start writing my resume tomorrow and see how things go.
The other day, I went to school to ask my professors for letters of recommendation so I can apply to graduate school. I was so nervous about it because it’s not as if they will actually remember me, right? Anyways, I was so well-dressed because I wanted to give a good impression, but then I noticed something wrong;
So unprofessional, haha! But I got the letters so it’s all good. I’m a bit stressed about my application. If I don't get accepted, I'll seriously kill someone. I spent a lot of time to write my statement of purpose. I asked my friend to proof-read it and she said I really sound dramatic, haha. I might show it to you guys later.
Oh, and I finally signed up at the gym. I realized that it did affect my mood when I went to bed hungry on a regular basis. I felt so depressed. It was always the saddest things that came to mind before falling asleep; I thought about death a lot. I lost nearly 20 pounds.
...but I guess it’s not that much of a difference considering my height. My mom says my butt looks smaller. Staying skinny is really painful so in the past few days, I just let myself go and ate as much as I could. Just fuck that, ha.
I’ll just go to the gym more often. It’s the Concordia gym, by the way. I haven’t been to a gym in 5 years and the reason is simply because I don’t like being watched. And I don't like to run into people I know. And I absolutely hate it when guys approach me when I just want to stay in my bubble. When I were younger, I used to be more polite and talked a bit to those losers even when I didn’t feel like it. When I got a bit older, I started saying the most stupid shits like “I don’t speak English” and other things of the sort, just anything to be rude. Now, I don’t even bother opening my mouth anymore. I just give them a bitch stare and walk away, ha.
In brief, everything is in transition right now; I’m constantly running around trying to arrange things. I'm waiting for things to get settled so I can plan and decide what exactly I want to do. I also got my busy schedule back and it's so crazy that I almost cannot breathe. I don't even have one single day off until February. Got no time to be lazy right now :(