We all need to be seen somehow, and to feel important. Kundera categorized people into four groups according to the kind of look they wish to live under. The first three categories include the ones who long for a large audience of anonymous eyes, the ones who need an entourage of familiar eyes and the ones who want to be before the eyes of the person they love. As for me, I inevitability fall into the fourth category, the rarest ones, the dreamers, the ones who live to be seen by an imaginary being.
It doesn't matter whether I'm going against his will or fighting for his approval, I just hope he sees. I want to be anything but forgettable to those eyes watching me from afar. Although he’s physically absent and I don't wish any different, his imaginary presence marks everything I do; it gives me a reason to be motivated for and everything to be sad for.