Why does he reappears out of nowhere, as if he never disappeared, to ask me some dumb questions such as how my midterms went. If I don't hear from someone for more than a week, I fuckin move on! It is great to have him around but if he wants to leave then I won't make him stay. I've gained, I've lost and I've learned to handle that; I don't get obsessed anymore. In fact, I already started seeing other guys; nothing serious but just letting them take me out and show me a good time.
He said a lot of hurtful things today. He could have just told me that he doesn't want to see me again and that's it. I wasn't going to call him again anyways. Instead, he had to attack me saying that I'm a monster and he even put all the blame on me. He said that I fuck his mind, that I make things complicated, that I confuse him...when in fact, it's all the opposite; he's the one fucking my mind when I try to make things simple. I didn't even feel like explaining so I just answered "k fine". How can he expect me to explain when all he does is attacking me? Couldn't he at least ask me "why"?! Was he expecting me to stroke his ego by begging on my knees? Psh. I was so pissed that I almost wanted to say "Hey dude, I thought you only saw your dick, when did you become so emotional?! That's so girlish, Megan"! No but seriously, he's giving me headaches.
Finally I calmed down, wrote to him and told him things I never told anyone before and no, it's not even written anywhere on my blog. Although hurtful, I really appreciate the fact that he was brutally honest and almost poured his heart out this time. Why didn't he tell me from the beginning? Why is it always at these last moments that everything becomes clear? He can't blame me because I didn't even know if he liked me, so I only had the choice between treating him the same way he treats me which means being a bitch to him...or be a good actress, play his game and lie! I usually never ever try to justify myself but this time, I will. I do realize that there're lots of misunderstandings; it seems like we both have a different version of the same story and we all want to be the victim so we can blame the other one. I already tried so much for that guy that I think I should at least take one more step forward. To make things clear or whatever it is so that there won't be any regrets. That's all I can do.