Experience makes you wise but most of the time, wisdom is just misery. As people grow older, the good and bad experiences accumulated become layers. There are so many layers that I, sometimes, don't remember who I were and I hardly recognize myself...too ashamed of my actions maybe? I read some of my previous posts and I'm like "What the fuck was wrong with me? That wasn't Elaine. Why was I sad for that crap? How can I ruin that face with tears"?! Any valid reasons? No and nothing's worth it. Then few days ago, someone "nicely" asked me to do something for him and I brought that person down without feeling bad for one second. In fact, I enjoyed every second of it. I guess I were tired of acting nice to people who are going to use that to step over me. It reminds me that I really am not a kind-hearted girl at all.It's like...bitch please, Elaine! You know you're just a mean crazy bitch; why are you playing the domesticated housewife, acting all cute and nice? Cut it out, Psh.
I take a look again at the woman in the mirror but this time, I think to myself "Oh shit, look at that! I'm still one hot bitch. Why do I even let them brainfuck me"? I'm not going to let anyone take advantage of me thinking that there's no repercussion. I will peel off the unwanted layers and just become, again, who I was.
So, remember this:
Do not care.
Do not share.
Do not assume.
Do not be naive.
Do not waste time.
Do not think that far.
Do not be too serious.
Do not put your heart into it.
Do not give anything away for free.
...because you ain't getting anything back.
No one messes with me. Just no way.
I'm vain and conceited; exactly the way I like it.