I visited him today for the last time. It’s so stressful to say "goodbye” and “see you again" when in fact; there might not be a next time. I’d rather not say anything and just leave. And that's exactly what I did last year and I know how lame that is. I didn't know how to handle that.
This time, I tried to not say anything that might cross the line such as "I'll miss you" even though it's perfectly normal to miss a friend. I feel uneasy when he says he wants to study in Hong Kong or Canada...I hope that’s not for me. I just want him to do it for himself, but not for me.
I stayed until visiting hours were over and I was just like..."Ok, I have to go, I’ll see you again” with my usual tone of voice. There isn't much I can do.
He taught me that it's okay to care and I can be happy even if I don't have everything I want. I know that's true whenever I think about him and I won't go crazy anymore.