Last night, I did what I always wanted to do; call him. I wanted to tell him about my new job, how awesome my boyfriend is and so on. Just like the first time I saw him, I already wanted to know everything about him and talk about everything. I had the feeling that we truly reconciled, and we could be friends.
"I'm leaving," he casually tells me.
"Where? Can I come?" I asked, like nothing else mattered and I could carelessly leave everything I had without considering others' reactions and how unfair it would be to them.
"Don't worry, I will come back," he replied and I knew I shouldn’t persist any further. There are those people we want but don’t need…that’s why we never really fight for them. Some days, I slowly accept. Some days, I can’t.
I've claimed time after time that I don’t care anymore. Nevertheless, I keep coming back to those thoughts, same questions and useless what ifs, even in my dreams.
..and in real life, I never actually called but, I never changed my number either.