Yesterday, we argued. Ok, not really. I didn't argue, I just ignored him. I don't even know what the hell he was mad for. I know he's not actually that much of a good guy; he's nice to only me. Similarly, I don't think a lot of people would describe be as a sweetheart, I'm nice to only a few.
I think he was saying something along the line that I open my legs to assholes that threaten to leave me and it's unfair to him because he's nice to me but I have to make him wait. Blah Blah Blah...
I seriously thought about just grabbing all my stuff, say "fuck that", and leave. But I didn't. I didn't because I said I'll make an effort for that guy. I cannot just leave like this everytime there's a problem, right? I have to work at them.
"Sorry, I was really insensible," he apologized, realizing he was wrong. "Please get mad at me or yell at me, don't just ignore me."
"I can't get mad at people, I don't care enough for that," I replied, staring at him with my terminator face. He always thinks that I'm a secret agent sent by the Chinese government, and I have no idea why, ha.
He felt so bad that he kept apologizing and tried everything to make me smile. He followed me to the washroom, farted, tried to put his finger in my nose, etc. I know, we're so nasty, haha. He's very persistent, which is another one of his qualities. Although I still don't quite get what he got mad for, I really appreciate the fact that he admitted his faults. That's what every responsible man should do. It doesn't make you a weaker person but contrarily, it reflects great strength.
I felt sorry too, but I couldn't say anything. I was just lying on the couch and playing with the holes of my ripped jeans.
"I wish I met you at an earlier point in your life, I would've saved a lot of pain," he said. He seems to understand me so perfectly. Everything happens for a reason; he knows I act in a certain way because of past experience and he doesn't blame it on me .This guy is great.
"...but I wouldn't be the same person you like today," I replied.
"I will fix you," he said. Okay, I know I said it many times, but this guy is so cute.
"I'm okay," I carelessly said.
"You don't think I'm serious?!" he asked.
"No matter how you feel about me right now, how perfect we are together at this moment, or how bad you mean those words you say, anything can change in two months," I said.
"Do you really have to give me an expiration date?" he asked.
"I can forget about you easily, Jonathan," I said. "I might be sad for a little while but two weeks later, I will forget about you. You will too."
"Yes, I can live just fine without you, but I would have been sad wondering what it could have been if we made a different decision, if we persisted..." he answered.
There are many things about him that I really don't like; he can get annoying, jealous, impulsive and possessive. However, when he learned about the scariest things about me, he didn't leave me. He didn't overlook my faults but instead, accepted them. I will do the same for him.