I had stomachache and didn't feel like going out in Barcelona. I was so sick and sad. I went on tinder and started swiping, haha. That's how I first started talking to Vitor.
"What are you looking for on tinder?"
"Meeting interesting people, girls mostly ;)"
"Boys aren't interesting?"
"Yep, but I'm already satisfied with my male friends. And you?"
"Sex."
"I didn't want to put it that way. Sex with interesting people, do we agree?"
I didn't even want to talk to him, I just wanted answers to questions and didn't feel like talking about anything else. I just asked him his height and for more pictures. That's how superficial I am. He suggested that we meet after 10pm, because he had to visit his grandmother. At that point, I stopped responding. I just changed my mind. I was just sad and wasn't in the mood to joke around.
He noticed that I like Pantera, and absolutely wanted to meet an Asian girl who likes heavy metal. Since I stopped responding, he started wondering if he said anything wrong.
"I don't really want to meet anymore."
"Okay, what happened? Just wanted to be nice and have something to talk about. I now feel like a psycho, thanks a lot."
"I didn't mean to, just changed my mind, sorry."
He really wondered what went wrong and didn't want to feel like a freak or a psycho. I felt bad to make someone feel that way just because I was sad, bored and undecided.
"You didn't do anything wrong, I was just lonely."
"Okay, I guess not anymore. Sorry to bother you. Have a nice trip and don't feel lonely!"
"Thank you. You seem like a nice guy. "
"Not enough ;) If you ever come back, I'll remember you, the not so angel-like girl"
I thought he seemed so nice. I disappointed him, but he still wished me well. I wanted to keep in touch with him.
"Better for me to not even try to understand. It has gone from "the day I meet a fine asian lady" to "the day I feel like a moron/psycho" hahaha, life can be so funny."
"You're not a moron. I'm the moron."
"Hahaha, no. Something happened in your head I guess...never mind, it was my fault, I got carried away."
"I'm just a little heartbroken."
"I know how that goes...11 years with the love of my life. I understand. It's hard. Don't grab onto the first guy! Wait for the right one for you. I grabbed on the first girl that bumped into my life after my heartbreak and it was a big mistake. God, I talk too much!"
"Haha, you're very nice. Thanks for the advice."
"I have another one; meet me! I had to try..."
"Haha :)"
"Just kidding...all I have left is to look at your photos and curse, haha, at myself not at you. Hope I entertained you at least."
"We can meet...but not for sex." At this point, I thought he was quite interesting and wanted to get to know him.
"I have a special place...do you want to have a walk with me? A friendly chat and I look into your eyes is all I ask for."
We finally decided to meet in front of the metro station near where I stayed.
"I'm nervous." Not many guys would admit that they are nervous, and I like that he did.
I walked close to the metro station and saw a guy walking my way that looked like him, but I wasn't sure...and he didn't say hi. As soon as we walked passed each other, we both turned around and smiled.
We walked a little bit and sat down somewhere. I felt an instant connection with him. He studied in New Mexico when he was 16, which is why he speaks English...but he speaks English with a Spanish accent, which I find so cute. I could listen to him talk forever. He hates it when I say that he's cute though.
He told me about his ex-girlfriend who he dated for 11 years. It wasn't going so well and there were problems of communication...and he ended up cheating on her. He decided to be honest and told her about it. She took him back, but changed her mind after she realized that she couldn't trust him anymore. He still wants to talk to her, be her friend and know how she's doing, but she doesn't want to stay in touch. However, she texts him every year on July 31st to wish him happy birthday. How sad! He asked her to stop doing that because it makes him sad that she doesn't want to talk to him, but reappears only on his birthday. Women can have some of the weirdest theories sometimes.
The first girl he met after that 11 years of relationship is an Argentinian girl. He never loved her, but he was lonely and grabbed onto the first girl he met. She wanted to work in Spain but couldn't get a visa, so he married her just for the papers even if he doesn't love her. That's how nice he is...it's a strange kind of nice. He's divorced now.
He used to work at the airport and seems to miss it from time to time. He was the representative of the union and the bosses hated him. Barcelona built a huge airport, but then they realized that the economy wasn't doing so well...so most of the airport is useless. They also fired 40% of the people who worked there. "Why don't you fire me too?!" he loudly said to them. He's the kind of guy who is full of passion and who isn't afraid of losing. He got fired, and used government money to travel for 2 years.
He really likes off-road adventures. His favorite city is Rio de Janeiro. When he travels, he sleeps 5 nights on the street like a homeless, and 1 night at a hotel. He told me many crazy stories about his adventures and misadventures. He once traveled to a city in Spain without ever touching the paved road and without a map, on a motorcycle. He's a true free-spirit, which I admire.
He studied psychology but ended up working in marketing, because it's hard to find a job in psychology. He's from a town called Valencia and said that people in Barcelona thinks he has the accent of a poor person. During his free time, he likes to make music in his room. He taught me a lot about Spain. I wasn't aware of political and cultural issues in Spain, such the division of the Catalan and Spanish.
When he finally asked me what my story was...I didn't tell him much. I didn't know what to say. "It's complicated" I simply said. He's a passionate guy who gives a 100% to things he sees as worthy, even if it's unconventional. He said he never met a girl like me, who seems so cold, and has a so-used-to-everything kind of attitude. It's the way I've been for the past few years...nothing seems so good, or so bad, and I'm rarely impressed, excited or disappointed. I don't know why...it's as if I lost my sense of taste. That's why I admire him even more, and I'm curious about him.
We talked a lot about everything and nothing. I noticed he had really ugly nails, because he bites them. He also smokes. He seems unstable and just wants to live day by day; he doesn't have any solid future plans. He said he thought women were made to be abused when he was younger. He likes to be mean and he doesn't care about them. He once told a bulimic girl that she's fat (without knowing he said). He hurt more than a few, and doesn't regret. He's the kind of guy I would never date if I were in my normal state in Montreal. But I really like him, and I can relate to him. Life is strange.
He tried to kiss me, but I didn't let him. As we started walking back. he asked again "Can I kiss you?" I said no. "I don't like guys who ask. I like guys who just do it...guys who are assertive."
"Sorry, my parents raised me to be polite." he replied. He's so funny. Then, he just held me tight and kissed me, without asking this time. The way he held me is very different from anything I've felt before, it's as if he's giving me a back massage. "You stink!" I said, I didn't like his cigarette breath. He just laughed.
We spent the next day together. He left work early to come see me. I was never really into holding hands; I prefer holding arms. Most guys I've done that to, usually just leave their arm straight, sometimes with their hand in their pocket. But he actually folded his arm in 90 degree so my hand just rested there comfortably. It's so old-fashioned. "That's the way I walk with my grand-mother, but with you it's much better." We laughed so much.
Unfortunately, I had to leave for Madrid...and we had to say goodbye. "I'll always remember when I kissed you, and you said that I stink," he said, mimicking me saying it. "If you keep talking to me, I have a confession still to be made ;) Take care and be happy!"
"I'll miss you a lot. Thanks for the time we spent, and for sharing your funny and personal stories. Maybe we'll see each other again someday, we never know. Take care for now!"
"I think I could fall in love with you if you had given me time..." he said.
"I think I could fall in love with you too..."
It was a long goodbye...
Oh, and the confession is that he downloaded his favorite pictures of me to keep them so he can remember me. How sweet!
When I got to Madrid, we still kept talking. He recommended a place where I can get the best squid burger in town, so I went to get it the next day. Then, I decided that I definitely had to go back to see him in Barcelona. I changed the time of my bus ticket so I can leave Madrid earlier. Maybe he's just good with words, and I really don't know much about him. Sometimes, I would get this feeling that he will do some stupid shit and I will end up hating him...just like every guy I've ever known. There's no point in seeing him again, really...but life is short, I really want to enjoy every last second of it. He's such a gentleman, and he's very generous and chivalrous. Maybe because Spain is a less-developed country than Canada...not that it should have any correlation...
He would send me some of his music from time to time. I really like them, and I think it a way of knowing him better.
Finally, we saw each other one last time before I flew to Paris. He's someone I will remember for the rest of my life. He's one of those people who changed my way of thinking, even if it's just a tiny bit. I think all of this is just incredible. Going to Spain was really a last minute decision. If I didn't get fired, I would not go to Morocco...and if I didn't go to Morocco, I wouldn't go to Spain...and I wouldn't have met him. Although he says he's a mean guy, I truly believe he's a sweetheart inside...and I hope he won't get hurt anymore.
...and I try to write as much detail as I can, because memories will fade someday, and I might never see him again. I just really want to remember everything about him.
Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in the same city?