I'm really hurt right now.
We will not meet anymore...
"I really don't understand what's going on. Why don't you just answer me honestly and stop making wait if you don’t want to be with me? And if you want to be with me then, why do you ignore my calls on purpose?”
“Elaine, you’ve called me 10 times I think just today. You’re under the impression that you and I will get back together. I have no intention of getting back together like that. I thought we could slowly start seeing each other again, take it slow and see where it goes. You’re acting like we’re together now, but we’re not. I’m not seeing anyone but I don’t think we should see each other. We’re not on the same page and it wouldn’t be fair to let this continue. I’m sorry.
I don’t think we should talk; it’s too hard on me too. I don’t want to make it harder…maybe one day, if you feel you’re ready to talk and see each other…I’m still happy to know you and will always carry a piece of you with me. Goodbye for now, Elaine. Xo."
“But you’re the one who keeps saying how much better it would be when we’ll be together again, and that we’ll stay in the course, not me. I’m really hurt that you keep sending me mixed signals. I called you so many times because I honestly just wanted the truth…”
“Yes. I meant I thought it would be better because we could start over fresh. And slowly. But I can see plainly that this is not possible. And it hurts me so much because I really care but it just wouldn’t be fair, Elaine."
“You’re the one who made me think this way, Jonathan. If you didn’t want to be with me, you could’ve just told me so. I will not wait for you anymore from now on. I’m sick of all this crap. I love you so much. Jonathan. You ruined it.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t want us to meet and break down. I was hoping it could be a meeting where we would be new. Please don’t spit venom…I’m still not counting us out. Maybe with this approach, if we ever cross paths, it will be a real new start. I’ve never felt so shitty in my life, but this is for the best.”
We will not meet anymore...
"I really don't understand what's going on. Why don't you just answer me honestly and stop making wait if you don’t want to be with me? And if you want to be with me then, why do you ignore my calls on purpose?”
“Elaine, you’ve called me 10 times I think just today. You’re under the impression that you and I will get back together. I have no intention of getting back together like that. I thought we could slowly start seeing each other again, take it slow and see where it goes. You’re acting like we’re together now, but we’re not. I’m not seeing anyone but I don’t think we should see each other. We’re not on the same page and it wouldn’t be fair to let this continue. I’m sorry.
I don’t think we should talk; it’s too hard on me too. I don’t want to make it harder…maybe one day, if you feel you’re ready to talk and see each other…I’m still happy to know you and will always carry a piece of you with me. Goodbye for now, Elaine. Xo."
“But you’re the one who keeps saying how much better it would be when we’ll be together again, and that we’ll stay in the course, not me. I’m really hurt that you keep sending me mixed signals. I called you so many times because I honestly just wanted the truth…”
“Yes. I meant I thought it would be better because we could start over fresh. And slowly. But I can see plainly that this is not possible. And it hurts me so much because I really care but it just wouldn’t be fair, Elaine."
“You’re the one who made me think this way, Jonathan. If you didn’t want to be with me, you could’ve just told me so. I will not wait for you anymore from now on. I’m sick of all this crap. I love you so much. Jonathan. You ruined it.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t want us to meet and break down. I was hoping it could be a meeting where we would be new. Please don’t spit venom…I’m still not counting us out. Maybe with this approach, if we ever cross paths, it will be a real new start. I’ve never felt so shitty in my life, but this is for the best.”
All this time, it's been holding me back for nothing. I’m seriously done.
PS. We're like 30 minutes later. I'm not sad anymore.
All this was a misunderstanding. I originally called him just to ask how he's doing…but the fact that he doesn't answer drives me nuts. Actually, I tried to limit contacts, but he was the one who texted me things that only a boyfriend is allowed to say when I was in Vermont, which made me think that it's okay that I call him more often. I didn’t want to harass him, but I kept calling because I know it’s not his usual character to ignore me.
I think a lot of problems arose because of a lack of communication. All these little misunderstandings that we didn’t openly talk about create a distance between us. In our case, he's the distancer and I’m the pursuer. I’m the one who is impulsive and takes risk, while he's the one who leaves everything in the air, and wants space…but he has issues communicating that need. As he becomes more distant and non-responsive, I chase even more, both running in circles.
If he'd rather avoid me forever, then so be it. I don’t know how to convince him anymore. But I asked him to do me a favour and to meet me on Tuesday regardless like originally promised...because I anticipated this day for so long and I would feel resentment if it doesn't happen. I said that I would feel complete and move on easier. Let's just say that I need some kind of symbolic closure.
PS. We're like 30 minutes later. I'm not sad anymore.
All this was a misunderstanding. I originally called him just to ask how he's doing…but the fact that he doesn't answer drives me nuts. Actually, I tried to limit contacts, but he was the one who texted me things that only a boyfriend is allowed to say when I was in Vermont, which made me think that it's okay that I call him more often. I didn’t want to harass him, but I kept calling because I know it’s not his usual character to ignore me.
I think a lot of problems arose because of a lack of communication. All these little misunderstandings that we didn’t openly talk about create a distance between us. In our case, he's the distancer and I’m the pursuer. I’m the one who is impulsive and takes risk, while he's the one who leaves everything in the air, and wants space…but he has issues communicating that need. As he becomes more distant and non-responsive, I chase even more, both running in circles.
If he'd rather avoid me forever, then so be it. I don’t know how to convince him anymore. But I asked him to do me a favour and to meet me on Tuesday regardless like originally promised...because I anticipated this day for so long and I would feel resentment if it doesn't happen. I said that I would feel complete and move on easier. Let's just say that I need some kind of symbolic closure.