Goals and responsibilities

Thursday 24 March 2011



I've been very busy lately, and very impatient. I didn't have time to enjoy anything. Every now and then, I'd wonder why I have to study that much, work that hard and climb that high. I'm afraid to waste too much time trying to accomplish goals.

"I wonder if you are the type to rip through life at such a blazing pace that its beauty might escape you at times...but your confidence and drive is inspiring." someone said to me.

...but I'm not actually that ambitious. Ever since I were little, I really just wanted to get married and have children. I want to be an average woman who's not too intelligent nor too pretty, and lead a common life.

They say beginnings are scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living. In my case, I don't even know whether it's worthwhile or whether an ending exists. Is it true that life is at best when you cannot predict the future? Is this what I really want? Someone once asked me what's the best feeling in the world, and I said it's when you're about to risk your life and loose everything...because that's when you have the freedom to do anything.

I'm perhaps evolving and I want to make it up to those who never ceased to support me even when I were undeserving of it. I feel responsible for those people and I want to take care of them...but I feel trapped at the same time. I cannot just go ahead thoughtlessly and be a free spirit anymore.
 
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