Challenges

Sunday 27 March 2011

"I usually wouldn't date a serial dater, but I want to make an exception for you." Jonathan said.

"Why?" I asked.

"The girl who says she doesn't like challenges but got stuck on the IQ test game and didn't give up until she solved it... You have a thick shell and I think there's more than meets the eyes," he answered. "You're someone I would invest in."

First of all, I don't consider myself as a serial dater and even if I were, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm just looking for the right one and you don't know unless you date many. One day, a friend said this to me "You know why you fail, Elaine? You're too loyal sometimes and stubborn to go with it. You're too hard on yourself and it doesn't do you any good". I still ponder on that statement quite often.

...And Jonathan's right. I used to love obstinating and I didn't know when to stop. Unfortunately, I ruined many thing because of that unsatisfiable obsession that wasn't worth much in the end. Finally, I had trouble differerenciating whether it's the challenge that I wanted to win, or the person that I liked.

He knows that I'm still a competitive person, but I became more aware of things and I try to avoid conflict of interest before it's too late. He knows that I only respect a very few men. He knows that having sex with me means that we'll be forever strangers. He knows that I'm mean and fucked up in the brain. He knows a lot and I like it.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want different things with different people and I act according to other's action."

"You like to test people by answering questions without actually answering them," he said. "I'm not asking you about what I want. What do you want."
 
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