I'm so pissed I made a fool out of mysef again and I'm pissed that I believed a stupid lie for the X time and even so, I still try to make up excuses for him! I don't even feel like asking why because he would probably say something like "My dog got sick" or "I forgot" or "My friends came over" or "My internet connection fucked up" or "I forgot I had a test" or...whatever. You see? Even I can make up so many excuses so it's easy for him to make up one too. Man, I'm so pissed!
I really do think I should be nicer to people who deserve it and just forget about those who waste my time but for some reasons, it just won't work. It feels like having the wrong map in my head, and everytime I have to turn right, I always end up turning left.
Elaine, you're a clever girl, but you don't act like one!
I'm too obsessed and stubborn and it's killing me! You know when it's time to give up? It's when you start hiding things inside and acting nice because at that point, you clearly only want to win. I try not to be like that because everything is losing their meanings. Most people want to be forever happy but I realized that it is also worth being happy if you still know how it is to be sad.
I'm in dilemma right now.
When I take a step backward...I'd think; there are people dying everyday and I'm going crazy for little things like that?...So yeah,this is probably the last time.
Tomorrow is a new day!