Don't get it twisted, biatch.

...Not really, I get it all straight.

When men finally realize that they won't be able to sleep with you, they will try to make you believe that you thought too much and that they only wanted to be friends when in fact they obviously wanted to fuck you. As if I’m the only one with loads of dirty thoughts and as if they are innocent like angels, the high-class type of angels. It's either that or they will show you the real nasty piece of shit they really are.

That’s not cool, dudes.

R asked me several times to sleep at his place (more or less directly). But I wasn’t that interested in him so I rejected him and now he tells me that he never sleeps with girls he's not dating. Ahemm...You are not contradicting yourself for sure. But yeah I shouldn't think too much, it could be that he was just trying to be genuinely nice. Maybe he just thought of my safety because I was probably be too drunk to make it home which is 2 blocks away...that's too far, right? euhhhh...sure. You’d think that’s the end of the story, but hell no, 1 failure is never enough!

3 days ago, he sent me this:

R: you bored Me: Stop thinking about me R: Don't get it twisted...biatch **Biatch??? It's okay to be in denial dude and why the hell "bitch" is spelled with an "a"? Does it make you sound more educated? Or is it less rude than simply spelling it as in the dictionary?

I'm just being direct. So am I a bitch because I'm too direct? Aren't you an hypocrite because you act way too nice? Pfffff...Do you want to deal with a bitch or a hypocrite, dude?! It’s just the reality. I'd prefer someone who'd just directly tell me that they are horny and that they want to fuck me and that they will not call me again rather than someone who'd ask me about my mom and my birthday as if they'd remember. As if I deperately wished you'd remember. Why do people waste their breath by asking stupid questions? Foolish.

That Tim guy from the bar is no exception. I was trying to avoid him so badly but still bumped into him on the street (how lucky, huh) so I gave him the cold shoulder. You know what he said after? He said “hey Elaine, I just want to hang out with you as a friend, don’t get it wrong”. Hmmm yeah for sure. I don't know about you guys, but I know I don't try to have sex with my friends. That guy just never talked to me until he saw me with my extra-short shorts that barely cover my ass and that's when he started bothering me. So predictable...

It’s okay to be an asshole, it’s okay to be a pervert, but it’s not okay to be a hypocrite. Why would anyone waste that much time to act all nice and to choose the best pick up lines for me anyway? Oh because men are that lame!

Chris wants to fuck...obviously.

So last weekend, I went to that bar with Chris and his friends. I actually didn't want to go see him but it was still early to go to club so I still went, and because I haven't seen him in a while. So I was there and drank with his stupid friends then they wanted to go to club so I said I wanted to go home because I were tired (so not true). Then Chris insisted that I go and blalalalallalasss...but of course I didn't listen. So he grabbed a cab for me and told the taxi driver to go to my place. As he closed the door I asked the driver to go to nb. Yeah sorry dude. So I was thinking about that and wondered if I were too mean...but NO!

Reasons:
1-His friends asked if I were his girl and he answered no. At least say yes to make me happy, huh?

2- When he insisted that I go with him, he said "Ahh c'mon Elaine, you know I want to sleep with you". So, he called me because he was planning to sleep with me. Hahaha that's so fackin funny.

3- What kind of stupid girl would go to club with her boyfriend? Ok ok, he's not my boyfriend, but same shit, I'll have to stick around him if I go.

變了大肥婆 ７月11日

You player

That Chris plays it right. As I started to think he's not that bad, he totally blows me off. Usually, he's the one who does everything, he takes me out, calls me, sends me txts, etc, but I always responded with very short answers until last time when I texted him and he didnt even bother to reply...I mean...Alright, now I know what to do.

友達- Kunico

Someone remembered a little thing I said out of nowhere.

Thanks Kunico.

Sorry won't do

Xu Hou Dong just sent me the cutest message ever, but also the message that hurts the most.

余思翠你知道在我心中你占据着最重要的位置吗？， 你知道我的感觉吗？我相信这是上天安排的缘分，因为我深深的爱着你，但是却不能在一起， 对于我，也许是宿命吧，虽然你也喜欢我，但是你们注定不可能在一起，我能猜到开始却才不到结尾，我会保留着对你的那份想念，永远~永远！

I cannot read everything, but I know how he feels. I’m sure it took him a lot to send this…He's not the kind of guy who puts everything on his forehead, and even when we were together, he'd never tell me how he feels. So sometimes, I'd think, maybe he doesn't like me that much, but I'm such a pot of glue that he can't get rid of me so he had to wait until I fly back to Canada?

I feel like crap right now. I know I said things that I shouldn't have said and did things that crossed the line. I should've considered the consequences. I really want to see him and I could give him everything to compensate for what I took away from him, but I don’t know how because that's not how things work. You cannot break someone's heart and try to repair it because you feel sorry. How can you? Aren't you just an immature little bitch, Elaine?

I kept telling myself:
Look what you did? Just because you didn’t think of the consequences, you ruined someone. Aren’t you feeling bad? You do? So what? That won’t solve the problem! Just because you are pretty, that doesn’t mean you are superior and that doesn’t mean you can get anything you like! You think you are the center of the world? WAKE UP!

After reading his message, I know I should never try to contact Kevin again…Isn’t that enough? Don’t cause more trouble. And I know I should forget about P as well. What is he compared to Xu Hou Dong? P is just a pervert who tried to fuck you. Xu Hou Dong never tried to take advantage of you when you were drunk and he still loves you the most.

I'm just very sorry.

A player or not?

I’ve been very sick these few days, I use the word “sick” because I’m not even exactly sure what I got…and I never gotten “sick” that way before and it really scares me. I didn’t even want to talk on the phone with my mom because I wanted to cry. I wish someone could give me a hug and I thought of Chris.

Oh and guess what, he just texted me:

Chris: I miss ya Ive been busy at work but im getting a vacation soon Me: lol ur funny

Though he might be a player, he’s a smart one. I know I shouldn’t but I’m curious to find out what he is.