Less whole

It's scary to realize that you've become a certain way...but somehow I've managed to conclude that it's okay to stop believing. I have a hard time seeing things clearly, and maybe that's because I deep down know the answer already, but I choose to be blind about it. It's hard to accept but the tides of fate and time keep pulling me into separate directions, and I’m struggling desperately to be who I want to be, and be who I should be, but I'm slightly defeated and weathered by age. Maybe it’s simply that I’m less emotional; less trusting; less whole. Maybe simply, because I'm afraid. I'm slowly accepting things I never wanted to accept. Life is fickle and people change. There were things that once upon a time made sense...