I didn't think that I would say that but I told him I wanted to break up. I feel so strangled. I really don’t know why I have to put up with this.
We haven’t seen each other in 2 weeks, because he just can’t stick to plans. We never do anything together even when we actually meet, other than lying on the couch and watching TV. I try to motivate him to do something else, but he always have an excuse.
We were supposed to meet this Friday, but when I called him, he said that he is tired from work and it would be better that we see each other on Saturday instead, even if he will have some work to do.
Today, it’s Saturday. I called him at eleven, and he was still in bed. At noon, he was still in bed. At one, he called me and told me he just woke up. At two, he called me saying that he's sorry he woke up so late, but it’s better that we see each other on Sunday instead, and he's so nice that he will cancel on his friends even if it’s the super bowl. I said I don’t want to see him on Sunday and he’s not doing me a favour to cancel on his friends, and I can’t deal with this anymore.
Do I have reason to get mad because I set aside time for him just so he can cancel on me, and he expects me to be involved in the new ones that he might cancel again? That’s just plain selfish and inconsiderate. I understand that occasional change of plan happens, and I understand that some people have time management issues, but this went beyond. His excuses are either that he is too tired, or overslept or there’s something on TV that he would like to watch. Sometimes, he would even confirm with his friends without telling me first.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm overreacting, or is this a legitimate concern? Should I continue to tolerate this? Maybe it’s just a detail, and it might not be the end of the world, but I'm really upset at this. Is it understandable? What I'm asking for is simply common courtesy and respect, yet he goes on telling me that I'm codependent, that I need to find independence and that I act like a baby and need to grow up...he's the one who can’t act like an adult and stick to appointments, in relationships and work.
…but to him, common courtesy is telling me two hours in advance that he cannot show up. Do you know what happens if I were to tell the chiro I can’t show up two hours in advance? He charges me an extra 25$ next time I go, and the logic is simple enough that I don’t need to explain that. Why do I need to explain this simple logic to someone like him then? It’s something that everyone should understand, right?
I tell him he has to tell me in advance because my mom cooks and I need to tell her in advance if I don’t eat at home. He was like, just cook yourself so you don’t need to depend on your mom...Well, sorry that I didn't grow up in a white family where everybody eats crap they cook for themselves separately. I'm so sorry I have such a good mom, and your's kicked you out.
I feel like, he's trying to convince me that it’s my fault.
I'm a little uncertain about my decision, because we get along quite well except for that same issue. Am I expecting too much? Is it my fault that I can’t contain my frustration? I didn't get mad for no reason?!
Even if I'm the one talking about wanting to break up, he's the one doing it.