This is the second time he breaks up with me. He wants no anger, no downs and no demands. He tells me that he needs consistency…but isn’t he the one who always confidently claims how he will never leave me? How he wants me back and then changes his mind? Where is the consistency in that? And how am I not consistent?
Without anger, passion and joy are nowhere to be found. Without the downs, the ups are left inexperienced. Without demands, neither expectations nor caring is possible. And so, I joy no more, expect no more, and care no more.
...he asks me why am I not as happy as I used to be. It’s because happiness comes with a price. I thought I could be free around him but, this is no longer as true as it once was.
Why am I still with him? One of our main differences is that I can find energy from within, while he needs external support. I guess it’s because I want to overcome this and because I’m consistent. Maybe I can change for him, for myself and for the better; it will take time but it's our ability as human beings to change and adapt. I don’t know if that's right anymore, but only time can tell.