You need to get a life ;)
Just being pretty....
Sunday, 28 March 2010
You need to get a life ;)
The truth about the chase
Saturday, 27 March 2010
I wanted to say this for a long time.
You know those people who are never satisfied with anything and don't know what makes them happy? You know what they all have in common? They all like to chase after girls they think they want but that they don't actually want...because they don't even know what they want in the first place. What they also don't know is the fact that it's never the girl that they are chasing after. What they are actually chasing after is the satisfaction built on an empty space that eventually falls. So when it falls, they'll have to chase after another one and another one again without ever knowing why.
Those people are plain negative and empty inside.
Tired of this.
You know how I know? because I was once in their shoes. If a guy did not give in right away; I will obviously keep on going after that guy, not much different than before but with 1 difference; I will only think about how I will screw that guy over once I get him. So even if that's not what I started with, it will eventually develop into something pathetic like that.
Then one day I woke up and realized I lost the one I loved the most and I'll never find anyone like him ever again. I have to say this even if it's cheesy but that person marked the turning point in my life and thoughts of him still make me feel sane. Today when people ask me how many boyfriends I had; I tell them I had one; Kevin. When he was here I never told him how much I loved him because I didn't realize it, I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't take him seriously. He really gave me everything but I kept looking right and left. I didn't appreciate what I had and now it's too late. It's too late to even regret or to cry about it. That's when I knew that it's the rarest thing in the world to find someone you can feel a vibe with and that it's mutual and that you're comfortable around each other.
The chase satisfies people but only for so long. It will eventually fall and that will never get you anywhere except for an short-term ego boost....that you probably need if you're that insecure and if you need that much attention to sleep better at night. If you still don't know how pathetic you are yet then it's about time you realize that your dick can find its type every so often, but your heart doesn't find its' every weekend...maybe not even once in a lifetime. So why don't you just slow down for a bit and start to get to know each other?!
Next time you meet someone you like; show them what you're all about just to test them and see if they will be scared off. If they can't handle that, it just means they were not chasing after you but after a sense of satisfaction that they don't have...and that they'll never get if they continue working that way. They are that pitiable.
...but you know what you can do to help them?
Rip their balls off before they break someone's heart. DOT.
You know those people who are never satisfied with anything and don't know what makes them happy? You know what they all have in common? They all like to chase after girls they think they want but that they don't actually want...because they don't even know what they want in the first place. What they also don't know is the fact that it's never the girl that they are chasing after. What they are actually chasing after is the satisfaction built on an empty space that eventually falls. So when it falls, they'll have to chase after another one and another one again without ever knowing why.
Those people are plain negative and empty inside.
Tired of this.
You know how I know? because I was once in their shoes. If a guy did not give in right away; I will obviously keep on going after that guy, not much different than before but with 1 difference; I will only think about how I will screw that guy over once I get him. So even if that's not what I started with, it will eventually develop into something pathetic like that.
Then one day I woke up and realized I lost the one I loved the most and I'll never find anyone like him ever again. I have to say this even if it's cheesy but that person marked the turning point in my life and thoughts of him still make me feel sane. Today when people ask me how many boyfriends I had; I tell them I had one; Kevin. When he was here I never told him how much I loved him because I didn't realize it, I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't take him seriously. He really gave me everything but I kept looking right and left. I didn't appreciate what I had and now it's too late. It's too late to even regret or to cry about it. That's when I knew that it's the rarest thing in the world to find someone you can feel a vibe with and that it's mutual and that you're comfortable around each other.
The chase satisfies people but only for so long. It will eventually fall and that will never get you anywhere except for an short-term ego boost....that you probably need if you're that insecure and if you need that much attention to sleep better at night. If you still don't know how pathetic you are yet then it's about time you realize that your dick can find its type every so often, but your heart doesn't find its' every weekend...maybe not even once in a lifetime. So why don't you just slow down for a bit and start to get to know each other?!
Next time you meet someone you like; show them what you're all about just to test them and see if they will be scared off. If they can't handle that, it just means they were not chasing after you but after a sense of satisfaction that they don't have...and that they'll never get if they continue working that way. They are that pitiable.
...but you know what you can do to help them?
Rip their balls off before they break someone's heart. DOT.
To the ignorant ones who hate my city and country
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
I just came across a blog of a certain girl who writes about how much she hates Montreal, Quebec and Canada in general. That's apparently the only purpose of her useless blog which I will not advertise by posting the link here, but if you really want to see it, you can ask me privately.
Does that even make sense to diss a country that is so open to other religions and so friendly to everyone no matter where they're from? I wonder how the hell she came to believe that she is the shit for having the guts to diss a country that warmly welcomed her. Same as in the fact that if someone let me sleep over at their place, I'm not going to start complaining about how small the bed is. It's already wrong enough to hate, but nothing is as bad as hating someone's country and culture. She can hate my friends if she wants to, but to hate my language?! Seriously? It's like...what type of sewer did you pop out from?!
I love montreal; it's my hometown but I just don't like some people who live in here and that makes me want to move out. Those people pollute our beautiful city.
Here's how to recognize her, her friends and her people:
-They rant about how we can't speak "proper french"
-They refuse to speak french even if they are fluent
-They might even refuse to speak english
-They rant about how small downtown is
-They shop at forever 21
-They think Mcgill is the shit
-They tend to stick to their own group
-They like dragon ball
-They are ugly
That girl talks like our every single action has to do with the fact that we're francophones...or Canadians.
If we are bad drivers, it's because we're Canadians.
If we want to have sex before marriage, it's because we're Canadians.
If we got no style, it's because we're Canadians.
If we're not educated, it's because we're are Canadians.
....PUH-LEASEEEEE!
...Not like you really sound like you're more educated than us, honey. You're having a bad day not because you're in Canada, you're having a bad day because you're a hater! Should I start yelling on the street that all people from her country are unclassy just like her and then create a blog about how her country sucks ass?! Not unless I want to stoop to her level, eh?
It's okay if she just sits at home and makes a few jokes about Canadians between her family and fob friends. That's something that most people do during supper time I think...but to post that on a blog where most readers are Canadians?! Even if they are factual criticism, no one wants to hear them...and no one's asking her to love Canada either. Same as in the fact that I will never insult your mommy in your face even if I think she's a bitch.
How would people feel if they read this, right? For those who are montreal-natives and whose mother tongue is french? It wouldn't be as bad if she wrote in her language...but dude! We have freedom of expression in Canada and some don't seem to enjoy that in a reasonable manner.
To disregard anything positive about Canada shows what kind of ungrateful and negative whore you are. If you ever wonder why racism still exists, it's thanks to people like them who hate for no reason and blame everything on our nationality. Aren't they playing a part in promoting racism? Their only argument in defense is "What, you can't take a joke? Sorry if I offended anyone, don't take what I said seriously". Yes, it might be "funny", but let me tell you that it's probably only "funny" to her and her other fob friends.
You can't choose your birthplace, but you can choose where you want to live so if you don't like Montreal, then get the fuck out and no one will miss you. Really, did you forget to bring your brain with you when you came to Canada in your boat?! Because I think you did.
If you love montreal and Canada, raise your hand. If you don't, suck a cock.
Don't hate me if I make more sense than you.
Does that even make sense to diss a country that is so open to other religions and so friendly to everyone no matter where they're from? I wonder how the hell she came to believe that she is the shit for having the guts to diss a country that warmly welcomed her. Same as in the fact that if someone let me sleep over at their place, I'm not going to start complaining about how small the bed is. It's already wrong enough to hate, but nothing is as bad as hating someone's country and culture. She can hate my friends if she wants to, but to hate my language?! Seriously? It's like...what type of sewer did you pop out from?!
I love montreal; it's my hometown but I just don't like some people who live in here and that makes me want to move out. Those people pollute our beautiful city.
Here's how to recognize her, her friends and her people:
-They rant about how we can't speak "proper french"
-They refuse to speak french even if they are fluent
-They might even refuse to speak english
-They rant about how small downtown is
-They shop at forever 21
-They think Mcgill is the shit
-They tend to stick to their own group
-They like dragon ball
-They are ugly
That girl talks like our every single action has to do with the fact that we're francophones...or Canadians.
If we are bad drivers, it's because we're Canadians.
If we want to have sex before marriage, it's because we're Canadians.
If we got no style, it's because we're Canadians.
If we're not educated, it's because we're are Canadians.
....PUH-LEASEEEEE!
...Not like you really sound like you're more educated than us, honey. You're having a bad day not because you're in Canada, you're having a bad day because you're a hater! Should I start yelling on the street that all people from her country are unclassy just like her and then create a blog about how her country sucks ass?! Not unless I want to stoop to her level, eh?
It's okay if she just sits at home and makes a few jokes about Canadians between her family and fob friends. That's something that most people do during supper time I think...but to post that on a blog where most readers are Canadians?! Even if they are factual criticism, no one wants to hear them...and no one's asking her to love Canada either. Same as in the fact that I will never insult your mommy in your face even if I think she's a bitch.
How would people feel if they read this, right? For those who are montreal-natives and whose mother tongue is french? It wouldn't be as bad if she wrote in her language...but dude! We have freedom of expression in Canada and some don't seem to enjoy that in a reasonable manner.
To disregard anything positive about Canada shows what kind of ungrateful and negative whore you are. If you ever wonder why racism still exists, it's thanks to people like them who hate for no reason and blame everything on our nationality. Aren't they playing a part in promoting racism? Their only argument in defense is "What, you can't take a joke? Sorry if I offended anyone, don't take what I said seriously". Yes, it might be "funny", but let me tell you that it's probably only "funny" to her and her other fob friends.
You can't choose your birthplace, but you can choose where you want to live so if you don't like Montreal, then get the fuck out and no one will miss you. Really, did you forget to bring your brain with you when you came to Canada in your boat?! Because I think you did.
If you love montreal and Canada, raise your hand. If you don't, suck a cock.
Don't hate me if I make more sense than you.
No contact is the key
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Why the hell people waste their time to read the blog of some girl who writes about her boring life?
Remember P? Well last time, I said a lot of mean things that included stuff like "small dick" and some other blablas. The fact that he goes on my blog does affect me in some way...like it forces me to think about him. I'm not some psycho who likes to hurt people; I just did it so that he quits reading my blog for the most part, which I think he did for a while.
However, he started going on my blog when he's at school. When he uses the Wi-Fi at school, it changes the IP address. So, he thought I wouldn't know it's him. I'm not going to explain how the visits tracker works, but it doesn't just track by IP address in case you guys wonder. So when I found out, I had that urge to diss him again. The reason I didn't is because I understand that it's hard to stop going on someone's blog when you read it for that long. For example, if I called the same person everyday for 5 months, you can bet that person will miss me if one day I just decide to stop calling. So I understand and I didn't say shit about it because maybe he's just curious. If he has to go to school to read my blog it's because he doesn't want me to know; it means he's not doing that on purpose to piss me off.
I still stupidly giggle when I think about him and I don't mind if it goes on like that for a while because it's just human nature...as long as he stays away.
Then about 3 weeks ago, he started going on my blog when he's at home. Since he doesn't know how that visits tracker works, my guess would be that he wants me to know he reads my blog now. He has to be doing that for a reason and the only reason I can think of is the fact that I met one of his friends. I'm pretty sure they are not close friends. He's probably doing that to remind me of his existence.
What would that mean?
For someone who always wants the last word,
someone who is so competitive,
someone who likes to sit there and try to win some argument...because being able to prove that they are smarter than a little girl like me just feels so good?
He's probably smiling because bad things happen to me.
I mean, how happy can you be if you succeeded in provoking me?!
...Unless you want to prove that immaturity comes with age.
I had to do something about it. Even if I don't hate him, I probably won't be able to face him because of that blowjob thing. I just don't know how. My friend, Van, always encourages me to go talk to him...and I considered that too. People say that there are problems that might seem so complicated but by the time you're willing to take the first step, you would've already half solved the problem. So I wanted to be nice and talk to him...but it didn't turn out well haha.
I texted him this...
Text messages always make everything worst.
Gosh...
It's just ridiculous...I just tried to start the conversation and he didn't take it well for whatever reason. He instantly put himself in a defensive mode and shot me his arguments when he could've simply said "no" instead.
Van said this to me "You're pissed because he reads your blog. What if one day he actually stops reading it? Would you still be pissed?" haha, I probably will but I know it would be better than having false hope. It feels peaceful when there's not even 1% of chance you can help the situation. I don't want to be obsessed for that 1%. Just be realistic. It sucks but I don't feel bad about it. Maybe I were rude and ruined it with my text messages but he annoyed me with his lame arguments first. At least now he'll stay out of my sight in every possible way...even my blog and visits stats. That's a good thing.
P is simple like a little kid sometimes even if he doesn't appear that way. It's not hard to figure him out and that makes it difficult to get mad at him even if he said mean things. Anyways.
Like he said, I need to move on. Ok ok, I said that at least 10 times haha. I think I already moved on but I got to admit that I still think about him. How is it possible to not think when I don't have alzheimer, eh? But I don't think about him the same way as before...I'm more at ease about it now, or just thought through it I guess, or maybe I just don't care that much either. I'm just taking that shit easy.
No contact is the key.
Remember P? Well last time, I said a lot of mean things that included stuff like "small dick" and some other blablas. The fact that he goes on my blog does affect me in some way...like it forces me to think about him. I'm not some psycho who likes to hurt people; I just did it so that he quits reading my blog for the most part, which I think he did for a while.
However, he started going on my blog when he's at school. When he uses the Wi-Fi at school, it changes the IP address. So, he thought I wouldn't know it's him. I'm not going to explain how the visits tracker works, but it doesn't just track by IP address in case you guys wonder. So when I found out, I had that urge to diss him again. The reason I didn't is because I understand that it's hard to stop going on someone's blog when you read it for that long. For example, if I called the same person everyday for 5 months, you can bet that person will miss me if one day I just decide to stop calling. So I understand and I didn't say shit about it because maybe he's just curious. If he has to go to school to read my blog it's because he doesn't want me to know; it means he's not doing that on purpose to piss me off.
I still stupidly giggle when I think about him and I don't mind if it goes on like that for a while because it's just human nature...as long as he stays away.
Then about 3 weeks ago, he started going on my blog when he's at home. Since he doesn't know how that visits tracker works, my guess would be that he wants me to know he reads my blog now. He has to be doing that for a reason and the only reason I can think of is the fact that I met one of his friends. I'm pretty sure they are not close friends. He's probably doing that to remind me of his existence.
What would that mean?
For someone who always wants the last word,
someone who is so competitive,
someone who likes to sit there and try to win some argument...because being able to prove that they are smarter than a little girl like me just feels so good?
He's probably smiling because bad things happen to me.
I mean, how happy can you be if you succeeded in provoking me?!
...Unless you want to prove that immaturity comes with age.
I had to do something about it. Even if I don't hate him, I probably won't be able to face him because of that blowjob thing. I just don't know how. My friend, Van, always encourages me to go talk to him...and I considered that too. People say that there are problems that might seem so complicated but by the time you're willing to take the first step, you would've already half solved the problem. So I wanted to be nice and talk to him...but it didn't turn out well haha.
I texted him this...
Text messages always make everything worst.
| Me: So I see you're still obsessed! P: What? Me: What you're not? P: Who is this? Ej? **...pretending to be innocent again. Me: Obviously. P: Um, not really obsessed sorry. Have you been writing about me again or what. It's been a while I haven't gone on your blog. ** I really don't get why he's lying when he knows I probably know the truth...or maybe "a while" means 2 days to him. And yeah, that's where things went wrong. Me: No and you're just childish, not because you're at school that I don't know it's you. P: Um yea keep dreaming. Whatever makes you happy eh. You need to move on. Didn't you delete my number? Me: Anyways stop bothering me and don't be innocent enough to believe anything I said. P: Haha jesus you seriously have an issue. You are the one who texted me out of the blue, not me. Anyways. Bye~ Me: That's only because you keep stalking me and I wasn't even going to say anything but you piss me off! P: Ok bye~ |
Gosh...
It's just ridiculous...I just tried to start the conversation and he didn't take it well for whatever reason. He instantly put himself in a defensive mode and shot me his arguments when he could've simply said "no" instead.
Van said this to me "You're pissed because he reads your blog. What if one day he actually stops reading it? Would you still be pissed?" haha, I probably will but I know it would be better than having false hope. It feels peaceful when there's not even 1% of chance you can help the situation. I don't want to be obsessed for that 1%. Just be realistic. It sucks but I don't feel bad about it. Maybe I were rude and ruined it with my text messages but he annoyed me with his lame arguments first. At least now he'll stay out of my sight in every possible way...even my blog and visits stats. That's a good thing.
P is simple like a little kid sometimes even if he doesn't appear that way. It's not hard to figure him out and that makes it difficult to get mad at him even if he said mean things. Anyways.
Like he said, I need to move on. Ok ok, I said that at least 10 times haha. I think I already moved on but I got to admit that I still think about him. How is it possible to not think when I don't have alzheimer, eh? But I don't think about him the same way as before...I'm more at ease about it now, or just thought through it I guess, or maybe I just don't care that much either. I'm just taking that shit easy.
No contact is the key.
That's what happens when you do your hair at chinatown
Friday, 19 March 2010
My hair is orangeish now...great.
I didn't go to the one I usually go to because last time, the owner talked about how I should date his son because he's tall, handsome and many girls are after him. I thought..."Geez, he's shorter than I am and there are probably only those 5-foot-minus-4-inches after him...pfffff"...And his son is the one who does my hair! He does my hair and checks me out at the same time. I'm not going there anymore.
My hairrrrrrr :(
Apologized to TJ
Friday, 12 March 2010
I wrote to TJ yesterday.
Last time I mentioned TJ, I was at a point where I were a bit ^%#@^!*. Want it or not, our baggage does affect our actions. We might even treat innocent people in a way they don't deserve. I started feeling better these few months. Thought through some crap, feel much more positive, just like a newborn baby.
When I think about TJ again; we could have been great friends if we didn't meet in that kind of setting. Realistically, no one really owes anything to anyone; if something not so great happened then it's just life; bad timing or bad luck or whatever it is. There is no need to blame it on anyone because no one should be responsible for your happiness or misery. So I don't think it was my fault if I were a stuck up bitch nor was it his' if he were an asshole. However, I do realize that I made him feel bad, said things that I shouldn't have said, did things that I shouldn't have done. It's been so long, but I know he thinks about me sometimes too...and probably in a positive way. So I apologized and it came from my heart this time.
We are all wanderers on this road of life. It could be that easy to bump into someone, but it could be very hard aswell. People who think it's easy tend to take others for granted, but if you think it's hard then you'll learn to appreciate others. It's crazy how I don't even know who lives next door, but I met TJ. It could be a once-in-a-lifetime encounter; I know we might never get to see each other again, but I learned some great things from him, from our differences and similarities.
When I were younger, I didn't understand that the process is more important than the results. I were never satisfied because I were so obsessed with what I will get back for my input. In the end, it was just a useless proof to myself that I can get whatever I "think" I want but I don't actually know what I want. But as I get older, I start to realize that it's not necessary to think that far and to plan everything when we're only here in the present. The results are sometimes simply not worth it if you have to do whatever it takes no matter what. Our destination might be different but I enjoyed it while we were wandering together for a little while on that section of the road and that's the whole point, nothing more, nothing less.
We disliked each other, but somehow cared at the same time because we understand where the other one is coming from.
We spent some great times, and some not so great...
...fucked up but still great memories.
Last time I mentioned TJ, I was at a point where I were a bit ^%#@^!*. Want it or not, our baggage does affect our actions. We might even treat innocent people in a way they don't deserve. I started feeling better these few months. Thought through some crap, feel much more positive, just like a newborn baby.
When I think about TJ again; we could have been great friends if we didn't meet in that kind of setting. Realistically, no one really owes anything to anyone; if something not so great happened then it's just life; bad timing or bad luck or whatever it is. There is no need to blame it on anyone because no one should be responsible for your happiness or misery. So I don't think it was my fault if I were a stuck up bitch nor was it his' if he were an asshole. However, I do realize that I made him feel bad, said things that I shouldn't have said, did things that I shouldn't have done. It's been so long, but I know he thinks about me sometimes too...and probably in a positive way. So I apologized and it came from my heart this time.
We are all wanderers on this road of life. It could be that easy to bump into someone, but it could be very hard aswell. People who think it's easy tend to take others for granted, but if you think it's hard then you'll learn to appreciate others. It's crazy how I don't even know who lives next door, but I met TJ. It could be a once-in-a-lifetime encounter; I know we might never get to see each other again, but I learned some great things from him, from our differences and similarities.
When I were younger, I didn't understand that the process is more important than the results. I were never satisfied because I were so obsessed with what I will get back for my input. In the end, it was just a useless proof to myself that I can get whatever I "think" I want but I don't actually know what I want. But as I get older, I start to realize that it's not necessary to think that far and to plan everything when we're only here in the present. The results are sometimes simply not worth it if you have to do whatever it takes no matter what. Our destination might be different but I enjoyed it while we were wandering together for a little while on that section of the road and that's the whole point, nothing more, nothing less.
We disliked each other, but somehow cared at the same time because we understand where the other one is coming from.
We spent some great times, and some not so great...
...fucked up but still great memories.
I don't feel like dealing with this
Thursday, 11 March 2010
It's not even surprising how I always meet people who always have something to do with "some people" I want nothing to do with. That's just Montreal.
So I met that guy recently. Let's refer to him as "Old Man". My friend already warned me that Old Man and that other person know each other, but I didn't really think that much about it. I was just like "Oh he's kind of cute; introduce me to him next time". It doesn't matter if he is friend with someone I don't like. It doesn't matter that they are talking about me in my back. I didn't think it would matter but I'm wrong because it seems like it matters to him. Now it matters to me too because he keeps trying to dig all my "dirty secrets" when he barely knows me. It seems like the only thing he is interested in knowing concerns that only thing I don't want to talk about. The more I don't want to talk about it, the more he wants to know and the more he insists. And if I don't tell him, then I'm childish, I'm complicated, I'm...hm what did he say? Anyways, I don't remember.
He keeps saying that he won't judge me nor will he tell anyone but it's hard to believe him when he just spilled his own friend's secrets today. He is also saying that it will resurface even if I don't tell him. Obviously it will if you keep digging...and it's something that doesn't even concern him. Maybe I would tell him if it actually concerns him in some way, but does it? Maybe he cares about his stuck up church values? Whatever...
It really makes me sad when he mentions that again because I was determined to move on and live. It's okay if he's friend with that other person, it's okay if he's curious, but if you got to open up people's scars, then what for?! He made me cry today, by the way. I didn't give him much of a reaction when he mention that other person and I didn't think I would give that much of a fuck either. But it forces me to think about it even more when no one's around. He made me feel like that other person will always be somewhere in the context when I try so hard to not let it be that way. It absolutely doesn't have to be that way, so did he need to bring that up again and again? Didn't he just create a problem when there was none to start with? Or maybe even if there actually was a problem, then he's just making it worst.
It's because he told me he's interested, y'know? So I wanted to try to get to know him with sane intentions; I didn't think of screwing him over nor did I think of pissing anyone off...but he's seriously making it difficult for me to give him a clean slate.
I don't know.
I was thinking about that in the shower, hesitated a bit, but not for long. I honestly don't feel like dealing with this.
In other words, FUCK IT!
Wouldn't it be great if we could start learning to know someone from that point we meet? Sounds so simple, but I start to think it's impossible in Montreal. Here, everyone knows about everyone because we heard it from someone, somewhere, somehow, right? I can't wait to move to a new city.
So I met that guy recently. Let's refer to him as "Old Man". My friend already warned me that Old Man and that other person know each other, but I didn't really think that much about it. I was just like "Oh he's kind of cute; introduce me to him next time". It doesn't matter if he is friend with someone I don't like. It doesn't matter that they are talking about me in my back. I didn't think it would matter but I'm wrong because it seems like it matters to him. Now it matters to me too because he keeps trying to dig all my "dirty secrets" when he barely knows me. It seems like the only thing he is interested in knowing concerns that only thing I don't want to talk about. The more I don't want to talk about it, the more he wants to know and the more he insists. And if I don't tell him, then I'm childish, I'm complicated, I'm...hm what did he say? Anyways, I don't remember.
He keeps saying that he won't judge me nor will he tell anyone but it's hard to believe him when he just spilled his own friend's secrets today. He is also saying that it will resurface even if I don't tell him. Obviously it will if you keep digging...and it's something that doesn't even concern him. Maybe I would tell him if it actually concerns him in some way, but does it? Maybe he cares about his stuck up church values? Whatever...
It really makes me sad when he mentions that again because I was determined to move on and live. It's okay if he's friend with that other person, it's okay if he's curious, but if you got to open up people's scars, then what for?! He made me cry today, by the way. I didn't give him much of a reaction when he mention that other person and I didn't think I would give that much of a fuck either. But it forces me to think about it even more when no one's around. He made me feel like that other person will always be somewhere in the context when I try so hard to not let it be that way. It absolutely doesn't have to be that way, so did he need to bring that up again and again? Didn't he just create a problem when there was none to start with? Or maybe even if there actually was a problem, then he's just making it worst.
It's because he told me he's interested, y'know? So I wanted to try to get to know him with sane intentions; I didn't think of screwing him over nor did I think of pissing anyone off...but he's seriously making it difficult for me to give him a clean slate.
I don't know.
I was thinking about that in the shower, hesitated a bit, but not for long. I honestly don't feel like dealing with this.
In other words, FUCK IT!
Wouldn't it be great if we could start learning to know someone from that point we meet? Sounds so simple, but I start to think it's impossible in Montreal. Here, everyone knows about everyone because we heard it from someone, somewhere, somehow, right? I can't wait to move to a new city.
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